What a Coincidence
by tuntuntunaa
Summary: ...Was it really a coincidence that they were all reincarnated to the same world at the same time? AU where Arturia was reborn as a Malfoy, Rin a Potter, Shirou a Weasley and Archer...as his twin.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes: Hey guys.**

 **I know, I should've continued FoS, but I was stuck in the next chapter. There is some problems in it that makes me want to pull my hair out.**

 **So I decided to just post this one instead.**

 **I don't know where the idea comes from, but it just struck me as I was travelling on a plane a month ago. It was a 7 hours journey, I was bored and was in serious need of humor because everybody around me were snoring and I couldn't sleep. There was even a kid who almost kicked me in the face from across the aisle, and he was doing it as he was _sleeping_.**

 **(As for REQUIEMCROSS and Masterx01 (if you're reading this), I will answer your PMs as soon as I could.)**

 **Warnings: Un-betaed, possible OOC-ness and possibly wrong knowledge about Nasuverse or Harry Potter. This fic was to make me happy among snoring passengers and a kungfu-lover kid across the aisle, so I wasn't really focusing on the details. But if there's any mistakes or suggestions, feel free to voice it out (in a more friendly manner, please.)**

 **There would also be some minor alteration in the original Fate route. Shirou and Rin in this fic are from Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works while Archer and Arturia are from Fate/Stay Night (2006). Archer is Shirou Emiya from the Fate route, but because he became a Counter Guardian he failed to be reunited with Saber in Avalon.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Nasuverse or Harry Potter.**

* * *

 **What a Coincidence**

Fate/Stay Night x Harry Potter

* * *

...Or was it really a coincidence?

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.

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* * *

" _ **Here lies King Arthur...until needed once again to vanquish Britain's enemies…"**_

 _\- Anonymous -_

* * *

Arturia Pendragon was bored.

Yes, her being bored was unheard of, but staying in Avalon for God knows how long would surely make even the most stoic warrior succumb to acute boredom.

Don't get her wrong. Avalon was the most beautiful place she had ever set her eyes on. There was an endless expanse of grassy hills, and the sky was the bluest she had ever seen. She was granted a comfortable house to live in, which faced a tranquil lake that was home to swans and many other wildlife.

Truly beautiful. Like those panoramic views Arturia had seen on the pamphlets Taiga had brought to Shirou's house one day.

However, her fascination quickly dwindled the moment she realised that she wouldn't see Shirou anytime soon.

If ever again.

'The Fates are cruel, indeed,' Arturia lamented. 'For they had allowed Alaya to trick me into a pointless war for a tainted wishing device, only to trap my soul beyond my death when I'd finally found the only person I've ever truly loved.'

Stupid Merlin for giving her Avalon.

...Then again, if he hadn't, she wouldn't have met Shirou.

Arturia sighed.

She didn't know how many days or months or years had passed. Memories of her stay with Shirou, of her growing feelings towards him and of his promise to find her again constantly filled her mind like a broken tape.

Yet nothing in Avalon had changed. Forever beautiful, but no longer breathtaking.

Dull.

Boring…

"Aaarrghh!" she groaned loudly. "When will you ever fulfill your promise, Shirou?! It's been, what, _centuries_!"

Arturia rubbed her face and sighed. Now, she was feeling guilty for blaming Shirou for that. She admitted it wasn't really his fault since finding her in some magical place (whose one of its purposes was to conceal her from the World) was pretty much impossible, but she couldn't help -

 _ **Ding-dong!**_

She jumped when, out of nowhere, a church bell-like sound reverberated throughout Avalon. Before Arturia could even do anything (like don her armour or curse or something) her body was already engulfed in motes of light. It was so bright that her sight had failed her, but she was sure she heard -

 _ **Britain...is in need of her saviour...to crush her enemies once more…**_

\- before her body was squeezed from all sides until she...came out from _somewhere_.

"Waaaahhhhh!"

For some reason, Arturia couldn't open her eyes. A thick blanket snugly wrapped her shivering body and it was all so confusing that -

"Narcissa, dear, it's a girl!"

\- she could only scream again.

"Wh-whaaa _ahhhh_!"

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* * *

" _ **Kaleidoscope is a True Magic. One of the reasons it's called exactly that is because the moment you fuck up, you'll be at the**_ **wrong** _ **side."**_

\- _Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, the Wizard Marshall_ -

* * *

Tohsaka Rin was a genius.

She had successfully mastered jewel magecraft at a young age. She had turned out to be a pretty decent and normal woman despite the psychopath of her guardian. She had managed to survive the Holy Grail War despite her Servant betraying her. She had even attracted the Wizard Marshall's attention and was made an apprentice in the Second True Magic, Kaleidoscope.

Rin thought she was truly a genius, but she had figured early on that geniuses _usually_ don't have the best of luck.

Or maybe the Lady Luck hated geniuses - in particular, _her_ \- because her projects would always end up in failure due to some miscalculations or careless mistakes.

At least, for most of the time, Rin realised her errors and could quickly fix it. Nothing went really bad so far.

For _most_ of the time.

Not this time, though. Perhaps the Fates hated her too and, together with the stupid Lady Luck, finally decided to give Rin the worst luck (like a _minus_ luck, really) on that particular day.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh - !"

Stupid Fates. Stupid luck. Stupid Zelretch. Stupid magics. Stupid Archer. Maybe stupid Shirou too, just because.

Colour swirled around her. She felt her body being flung around helplessly like a ragdoll. Bile started to rise in her throat and _fuckk_ -

Rin was about to spew out rainbows when things suddenly went dark. Then, a rough squeezing as if she was a sauce bottle before she finally emerged from...from somewhere.

"Waaaahhhh!"

"It's a healthy baby girl!"

"Whaaaaaaaaa - ?!"

A tiny part of her felt bad towards Shirou, because he was _there_ when she'd fucked up.

.

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* * *

" _ **Aaaarrrggghhhhhh!"**_

 _\- Emiya Shirou (when he got dragged into Rin's spectacular fuck up) -_

* * *

Emiya Shirou loved his girlfriend, so he wouldn't fault her for dragging him into her fuck up.

He figured Rin was a human too, so it was okay for her to screw up sometimes.

Thus, naturally, he cursed Archer instead.

Stupid Archer!

Rin's Servant didn't deserve the E-rank luck. It should be zero luck, if not a minus, because his luck must've brought bad luck to the others around him. It was seriously stupid and unfair that the jerk got ten times more luck than average people.

Look at Rin. It was all Archer's fault that Rin's luck had plummeted so far down there.

...Okay, maybe it wasn't all Archer's fault because Shirou might've also indirectly contributed to Rin's failures. After all, he had dragged Rin along (or, actually, Rin dragged herself along) whenever he did his 'Ally of Justice' thing. That must've stressed her out, for sure, because she had to compromise her concentration and her brilliance to deal with him. Or, as she had always pointed out, his fantastic stupidity.

But still.

Stupid Archer.

A few moments of stomachache-inducing waves of rainbows later, his world turned dark. Then, some uncomfortable squeezing, and finally -

"Waaahhhhh!"

Multiple assaults of magical scents around him must've confused him so much…

...that Shirou failed to realise _his_ scent.

.

.

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* * *

" _ **Sorry, I was a few minutes late."**_

 _\- Alaya, the Will of Humanity -_

* * *

Archer sneezed.

"It must've been that retard again," he grumbled.

It had been a few years (he assumed, since Alaya wasn't magnanimous enough to give him a clock or a calendar or something) since his last summon to the latest Fifth Holy Grail War. And, as per normal, he had failed his personal mission _again_. Archer was truly irked that after so many times being called upon as a Servant, and after so many parallel Fifth Holy Grail Wars, he would always fail to kill his younger self.

It was as if that brat was blessed with some stupid divine aegis that Emiya Shirou could be killed by anything but _him_.

Like, what the fuck.

Archer pulled his hair out in frustration. Then, like a deflated balloon, he sighed.

'At least,' he thought wistfully, 'I got to see Arturia again.'

It spoke volumes on how much he loved her that centuries of working as Alaya's lapdog hadn't managed to deprive him of memories on her. Most of them were now vague, but he could still remember the joy and tears he'd shared with her. He could still remember the day he first laid his eyes on her during her summoning, and of his promise to her…

Archer sighed again. Ah, yeah, that promise was impossible to fulfill to begin with. But his heart still ache painfully whenever he remember his _vow_ to find her again.

'It's been, what, centuries? She must've been frustrated, being alone in that faraway land of Avalon.'

His gloom-and-doom moment was cut-off when he felt the familiar tug of Alaya's summoning. Archer blinked when he realised it wasn't the usual kind of calling. He figured the world he would land into may need a more subtle approach to cull the humanity, instead of through the brutal violence of a typical Counter Guardian summoning.

He was fine with that. A vacation was always welcomed.

Though, it was a bit puzzling when he heard Alaya's voice. Archer wasn't sure of the exact words, but he swore he heard 'sorry' and 'late'.

And...and a giggle.

Dread filled him.

'Alaya?!' he thought, ' _Giggled_?!'

Out of nowhere, a dark vortex appeared in his barren world. With a sharp tug, Archer was sucked into it before he could even spew expletives at Alaya.

It was the worst summoning experience he had ever gone through.

A rough squeezing, before -

"Waaaahhhhhh!"

His sensitive nose was immediately assaulted by all sorts of unknown magical scents, as if the very air was full of mana. His eyelids couldn't open, and Archer felt awfully cold. A blanket covered his body soon, granting him warmth and comfort for him to begin to think.

'...What the - '

Then, _his_ scent hit him.

The ambient mana may have confused his sense, but this particular scent was familiar. A bit different than his own, but unmistakable.

It seemed that the other had noticed as well, because as one…

...they screamed.

" **WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!** "

* * *

There was an invisible blast, blowing Arthur and the MediWitch off their feet. They quickly scrambled up in bewilderment.

"Woah, was that accidental magic?!" Arthur wondered, "...And Molly, another twins?! You didn't tell me!"

For some reason, the twin newborns wailed even more loudly.

" **WWAAAAAA** _ **AAAAAHHHHHHHH!**_ "

Another invisible blast, this time stronger. It even singed Arthur's hair.

Molly Weasly blinked tiredly. She must've heard wrong, because she thought she heard her babies screamed 'Fuck' as one.

She shook her head.

Maybe it was her exhaustion talking.

* * *

 **Author Notes: I don't know if there's any fic out there that features Shirou and Archer being reborn as twins (yes, twins, in case you didn't get it when you read this fic), but I've never seen one. That's quite funny, because they're essentially the same person, only with different life choices and experiences and shits that were thrown at them. Why not twins?**

 **You guys should've figured who Arturia's parents are, and who Shirou and Archer's are. As for Rin's, I'm still conflicted on whether to make her a muggleborn or a half-blood. Making her a Potter is possible, but I find the idea already too common. Suggestions are welcomed :)**

 **If you're wondering whether Ron or Draco are replaced with Shirou &Archer and Arturia respectively, my answer is no. Shirou and Archer would be a year older than Ron and a year younger than Fred and George, so by the time HP cannon starts they'll be in the second year. Arturia would be Draco's older sister (maybe).**

 **I've written the next chapter as well, so I'll just post it together with this one.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Notes: I like this chapter :) Enjoy!**

 **Warning: Possible OOC-ness and some magic mumbo jumbo that I was just making up (and taking references from other fics). I was only focusing on the humour.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Nasuverse or Harry Potter.**

* * *

 **15 days after the...** _ **fateful**_ **day.**

Archer was the first one to open his eyes and be able to see.

"Waaa hahahahahaHAHAHAHAA _AHH_ \- "

And the first thing he did after that was to point his finger at the almost bald, grumpy-faced baby in the next crib and laughed uncontrollably.

A few moments later, he noticed that his pointer finger was chubby.

Then, Archer finally realised that _fuck_ , they were now twins.

So when Shirou could finally pry his eyelids open a few minutes later (because he hated to lose against Archer), the first thing that he ever saw was a bald baby clawing at his eyes and sobbing hysterically.

* * *

Molly came into their room not long after.

Her scent was familiar to the twins, halting their bawling (temporarily). For the first time in their lives, they could call someone 'Mother'. And today, they could finally put a face to the name.

She was of a Western descent, with pale skin and flaming fiery red hair. A little bit on the plump side but she was so kind-looking. Her warm brown eyes widened in surprise upon seeing her youngest boys interacting with their eyes wide open.

"Oh, my little boys. You could finally open your eyes!" she grinned, her eyes shining and suspiciously wet. Molly quickly strode to their cribs and lifted both of them on each arm. "I'm so proud of you!"

A warmth they'd never felt before settled in their heart.

'Mother,' they thought. Shirou chuckled, while Archer reached up with his hands to touch her face. 'Mother. We have a mo - '

Then, as if realising the blunder in their use of the word _'we'_ , both reincarnated babies paused, turning to glare at each other.

"Aah!" Shirou cried. ('Mine!')

Archer shook his head, "Wah, ha'ah. Ah _aah_!" ('No, stupid. She's _mine_!')

(Both were still in a state of denial about their status as identical twins.)

Molly blinked, "Why suddenly - " Then, her eyes brightened in realisation.

"Aahh, you two must be hungry."

The twins looked up at her and frowned quizzically.

"Aah?" they asked in unison. Before they could process what she'd said, Molly put them in their respective cribs and started to pull down her collar -

"W-waaahhhh?!"

They flushed, quickly covering their eyes with their tiny palms. Obviously that didn't stop Molly to...to feed them.

It was universally decided that they were lucky to have each other to share their humiliation.

* * *

On the same day, they experienced _and_ saw magic for the first time.

And it was nothing like what they'd expected.

Since their (re-)birth, they could only smell the unique scent of magic to prove its existence. Magic was everywhere. In the air, in the walls, in the wood of their cribs; in any items around them, really. It was jarring, but still not so uncommon, until they realised that their mother - the first human being they'd interacted with - was also full of magic. In fact, she had a magical core.

Every person in their vicinity had a magical core, including Shirou and Archer themselves.

Unless their current family had managed to hide themselves from the Mage Association, it was pretty obvious that the now-twins had just been reincarnated to a totally different world than their first.

They thought they would see their parents perform some awesome magics like breath dragon fire or perform time travel or transform into an animal or anything extraordinary. The twins did blast people off their feet moments after their birth, so they'd expected something big.

They'd never thought their mother would use magic to make them float, retrieve their nappies and vanish their...excretion, though.

Yes, it was still amazing that she could make them fly just by waving a stick and muttering some sort of a spell. Cleaning their nappies in a matter of seconds was convenient too.

It was just _what the fuck_.

* * *

...Forget about their experience with shits and nappies, please.

.

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* * *

 **A few days later**

Arthur Weasly, the twins' (current and biological) father, scratched his head.

"Which one is who again?"

Molly sighed exasperatedly.

She pointed at the baby on the left, "This one is Daniel." Then, she pointed at the other, "And this one is Joseph. Honestly, Arthur, you've got to be able to differentiate them."

The twins in question stared at their mother.

'I thought it's the other way round?'

* * *

They met their oldest and second-oldest brother on the next day.

Unfortunately, they - together with their father - came into the room when Shirou and Archer (they were still confused on who was Daniel and who was Joseph) were busy having a smackdown match.

(It started when Shirou slapped Archer's face out of blue. Shirou reasoned he could slap Archer around since the Servant was a jerk to Rin during the Fifth Holy Grail War, but, well, obviously he couldn't voice it out.

Admittedly, the slap was weak and awkward, and it didn't hurt a thing - it was more like a pat, really.

But it _did_ piss Archer off.

Thus, the baby-wrestling duel.)

"D'aaaawwwwwww!" Arthur cooed. "They're so cute, hugging each other!"

Bill and Charlie nodded furiously. "I reckon it's a twin thing, since Fred and George are also literally inseparable," Bill reasoned.

They quickly left the room in confusion when the twins screamed at them and angrily pelted them with baby toys.

* * *

"Mummy?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Which one is Daniel?"

"He's that one, Charlie."

"Huh? I thought…Nevermind."

"You told us that was Joseph, Mum."

"I did?"

"How could you tell who's who? They look exactly the same to me."

"Well, Billy dear, Joseph is the older one while Daniel is the younger one."

Suddenly, the topic of the conversation wailed at each other, startling the three other Weasleys.

"Merlin! Why all of sudden - ?!"

"Are they hungry?"

Charlie squinted, "No...They look more like fighting each other."

"Over what? Toys?"

"I don't know."

* * *

That moment marked the start of a long dispute between the twins over who was Joseph and who was Daniel, until the Hogwarts letters came to put an end to it.

.

.

.

* * *

At first, the twins didn't know how to feel and act around Arthur Weasly.

He was their father, the real one in this world, but then there was also Kiritsugu.

The two were polar opposites. Kiritsugu, the Dad they'd remember, was kind, yet there was a sense of...emptiness in his eyes. He was sick, so he didn't move much. He was a loving father, yet it felt as if he wasn't living anymore. Kiritsugu lived for so long only to accompany Shirou and to go to Germany to fruitlessly try and save his daughter, Ilya.

Kiritsugu was dead, even when he was alive. And Shirou Emiya still loved him as a son who loved his father.

Arthur Weasly, on the other hand, was...alive. Like, bursting with life. Actually, he was closer to Taiga than Kiritsugu.

He was boisterous around his children, making funny faces here and there and giving them magical and Muggle toys (it was the first time the twins heard about the term for non-magical people). He always darted around whenever he was excited. He said he loves Muggles and their technology, yet from what the twins had seen, he couldn't use any of the Muggle-technology he'd discovered for nuts.

It was hard enough to call the man their father. But it was even harder for Archer than Shirou to call him 'Arthur'.

Shirou's relationship with Saber wasn't as deep as Archer's own. During his time as Shirou Emiya in his version of the Fifth Holy Grail War, Archer had gotten to call Saber 'Arturia', in which many historical books had mistakenly written her name as 'Arthur'. He'd even fell in love with her.

Sure, different names and different people, but the meaning was the same.

Kiritsugu shouldn't be replaced. Arturia shouldn't be replaced, too.

But when they eavesdropped Arthur conversing with their concerned mother about the war and their dead friends, telling his wife that he was going to help the Order from the Ministry side and that he was going to be _okay_ , the twins couldn't help but to be worried.

After all, Arthur Weasly was still their father.

* * *

 **Author Notes: :)**

 **I haven't thought much of the next chapter, since What a Coincidence (WaC) isn't really my priority. That goes to FoS (although I'm still stuck in the same chapter for over a month already). But if you have any suggestion, feel free to voice 'em out cuz your ideas may be interesting.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: Hello guys! Thanks for all your positive reviews! I'm glad you guys like it!**

 **FoS' next chapter is being reviewed by my beta SwitchbladeSunsets, so I might as well post this one in the mean time.**

 **Seeing that there are various suggestions regarding whose family Rin should be born to, I think a poll would be good to determine what you guys want her to be. I'm okay with anything, though I prefer her not to replace any of HP's original characters.**

Rin should be born as:

\- Cho Chang's sister

\- Neville's sister

\- Hermione's sister

\- Luna's sister

\- Harry's sister

\- a random muggleborn

\- others (please put up your suggestions)

 **Feel free to vote!**

 **To reiterate, there will be no HP characters that would be replaced by Shirou, Archer, Saber and Rin. So, yes Ron would still be there, but as of now he hasn't been born yet. And seeing how you guys like the twins' interaction (and I like it too. So much fun to write this), here's another of the twins' chapter!**

 **As usual, I only focus on the humour, so I don't care much about technicalities. But do tell me if I've done any mistakes.**

 **Warning: Questionable potion ingredients and their equally-dubious uses, abuse of one's own twin, a downside of UBW that I've just found out and a potential Slytherin.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own FSN or HP, except for a weapon mentioned in this chapter.**

* * *

 **Shirou and Archer, 5 months old**

Finally, the day had come.

Months of constant humiliation had corroded so much of the reincarnated twins' dignity. They couldn't take it anymore, but in order to avoid suspicions and to please their mother, they had to endure. It proved so much of their perseverance, because any other person would have already succumbed to mental breakdowns (except for perverts).

But, it was no more. It was all now in the past. No more discomfort. No more sufferings. No more humiliations.

"Okay boys! Today, you're going to try out some solid food!"

No more breastfeeding!

It was unheard of that Shirou and Archer ever celebrated something together. They cheered, hands up and face bright with happiness and a great deal of relief. They grinned even more widely when Molly cooed at them in fondness.

Arthur seated them on modified baby stools. Shirou and Archer vibrated in anticipation when Molly came back from the kitchen with two bowls that must be their solid food.

It was a testament on how much they hated breastfeeding that they welcomed baby food with that much enthusiasm.

They thought things would finally turn better.

.

.

.

(Oh, how _wrong_ they were.)

* * *

As the bowls were lowered in front of them, the twins automatically casted Structural Analysis on the brown mush that was their food. It was a handmade baby food, a special recipe of Molly Weasley already perfected after having five babies beforehand. The food consisted of mashed apple, banana, rice cereal, sweet potatoes, bat's blood -

'…'

They paled.

\- Flitterbloom, nettle, lionfish spine, croakoa, bouncing spider juice, flobberworm _mucus_ -

Shirou and Archer quickly covered their eyes with their tiny palms (again), cutting off their magecraft.

God, what had their own mother put inside the mush?! Were these ingredients even baby-friendly - no, human-friendly?! What was a flitterbloom? Croakoa? Bat's blood?! Spider?! Some worm's _fucking_ MUCUS?!

They shuddered. Surely this was _not_ their food _-_

"Who wants first?" Molly chirped, oblivious to her sons' sickly complexion.

Archer regained his wits faster than his twin, so he snatched Shirou's left hand and lifted it up.

Their mother smiled at Shirou, and Shirou's uncovered eye interpreted the smile differently this time. It looked nothing like the smile he'd known. Actually, it looked too much like those crooked evil witches' smiles (or Rin's).

Molly Weasley is a witch. Witches and wizards make potions with questionable ingredients.

Shit their lives.

Shirou clamped his mouth tightly. He even squeezed his eyes shut to avoid seeing the _thing_. Archer watched his sibling in fear and horror, knowing that he'd be next. God help them.

Molly scooped some food on a baby spoon. "Aahh," she mouthed at Shirou, but her son was being unreasonable.

"Joseph," she coaxed him. "You have to try this out first. It's actually delicious."

'No, **you** try first,' Shirou thought as he frantically shook his head.

Their mother sighed. She was about to pry her son's mouth open when a cat-Patronus came into the room.

"Arthur, Molly," Minerva McGonagall's voice echoed throughout the room. "Order's next meeting would be at the Longbottom's manor. Albus received an intel of the next potential Death Eaters' attack and its location - "

Shirou and Archer unconsciously opened their mouths as they were awed by the ethereal cat speaking human language, and Molly seized the opportunity by shoving the baby food into Shirou's gaping mouth.

"Ack!" Shirou shuddered when the _thing_ touched his tongue. It was disgustingly mushy -

"..."

'Hey…,' he thought, munching the food more properly as he tasted it. 'It's actually pretty good.'

"Delicious, isn't it?" Arthur asked him after he saw the Patronus disappeared, and Shirou nodded in agreement. Their father then turned towards Molly, his face smug, "I told you putting croakoa in it makes it tastier. Children like chocolate frog, after all."

Archer bulged his eyes out as he witnessed his brother asking for _more_ , because Shirou needed to try it out one more time to analyse the unfamiliar yet delicious (and still dubious) ingredients.

Molly waved her index finger at Shirou playfully. "Give your brother a chance to try it out too, alright?" she said.

Archer paled, and when the baby food ominously appeared in front of him, he could feel bile rising up his throat. Though, stealing a glance at his seemingly-happy twin, he decided to suck it up and bravely opened his mouth.

Mushy food hit his tongue, and his eyes brightened in enlightenment. How could something disgusting taste this good when mixed with other ingredients?

'Magic,' the twins thought in awe. 'Magic _is_ real.'

.

.

.

* * *

 **Shirou and Archer, 7 months old**

"Mama" was their first word, making Molly burst in tears.

"Dada" was their second, making Arthur burst in tears.

"Di'own 'im" was their next words, confusing their parents greatly.

(For some reason, they formed the exact same sentence at the same time - which translated to "Mother, Father, disown him" - while pointing at each other.)

.

.

.

* * *

 **Shirou and Archer, 10 months old**

Archer put his hands on Shirou's cheeks and pulled _hard_.

"Awawawa _wawaWAWAW_ ," Shirou cried in distress.

Archer ignored his twin's futile attempt at smacking the hands pinching his cheeks away, because he was busy scrutinizing Shirou's face.

'Damn,' Archer thought, all of sudden feeling narcissistic, 'I look cute.'

Cue the next baby-wrestling session.

* * *

After getting caught 'hugging' each other several times (they weren't hugging, dammit!), both Shirou and Archer finally decided to call it a truce before they can get a weapon of their own. They needed to up their duel and make it look like a legit fight in order to prevent further misunderstandings.

But there was a dilemma.

They could just trace weapons out of thin air, of course, since for some reason their magic circuits were not affected by the whole reincarnation thingy. But, physically, their bodies wouldn't be able to handle the strain of holding real weapons, and it was obviously not an option to rain down weapons at each other. They didn't want to risk their house collapsing and their family turning into pincushions. They were good kids like that.

Unfortunately, being a baby also robbed you the privilege of touching pointy things, let alone a bladed weapon. It helped no one that the Weasley was a pureblooded magical family; there was no need for even a paper knife to open letters since they have magic for everything.

Besides, even if they could find a bladed weapon, their parents would faint if they see their cute baby boys dueling with lethal weapons.

They have to get real but non-lethal weapons, then. (Was there even such thing?)

The twins were forced to endure this dilemma for many long months, until one day their father came to save the day.

"Look at what I've got for you two," Arthur gushed at the twins. He revealed two items from his back: a toy wand and a toy sword, "Ta-da! Muggle toys! I don't know how, but they made it such that the toys are soft and completely baby-friendly..."

The twins ignored the rest of his explanation, because _there_ , on Arthur's left hand, was a sword.

A _sword_.

Automatically, the sword's information filled their mind. It was made of foam, cut and assembled in such a way that its blue handle had grooves for good grip, and its simple silver blade was double-edged. The sword was manufactured in China, exported to Britain and was stacked among many other foam swords in a toy shop in London for £5 each.

On 29 November 1971 at 10:13 a.m., Arthur Weasley bought one and gifted it to his eldest son, Bill Weasley, for his first birthday. Bill named it Excalibur, and thus was born the legendary ancestral sword of House Weasley.

Bill passed it down to Charlie the moment he was too old for it (and subsequently demanded for a broom), then from Charlie to Percy and from Percy to George for similar reasons. The sword was rich in history on being chewed up on, and its blade was constantly covered in tears, snot and drool. Yet it still retained its glorious form thanks to a quick _scourgify_ and a _reparo_ once a week. Foam-Excalibur was now ready to be passed on to the next generation -

\- And it inevitably appeared in their Reality Marbles, proudly standing amidst legendary Noble Phantasms as the most useless sword Shirou Emiya had ever had.

Shirou and Archer would never want to lose any of their swords, even if they were just blueprints of the real one and were deemed as fakes.

But _dear God_ , let them forget this foam sword, please! It even stood beside the real Excalibur as if it was its kin!

What would their enemies say if they see a toy sword on top of the hill of legendary swords?!

What shall become of their pride if their enemies - like, ugh, Gilgamesh - commented on them pelting their enemies with _fake_ foam swords?! It was as if they'd reached a whole new level of faking weapons!

What could they even do with it, anyway?! Use the previous wielder's skill to coat the blade with their drool and proceed to swing it around, hoping their saliva would hit their enemies and 'poison' them?!

Alas, Foam-Excalibur was still a sword, and there was nothing they could do to get rid of it from their Reality Marbles.

Besides, it was a _non_ -lethal weapon, and they did need it _now_.

"...So, who wants the wand and who wants the - Whoa?!" Arthur stumbled backwards when the twins unexpectedly stood on their wobbly feet and proceeded to reach up for the sword, ignoring the toy wand completely, "Hold your horses, boys!"

"Gimmeh da wahh!" Archer yelled at him. ("Gimme the sword!")

Shirou shoved his twin away, "Nah! Gib ih duu meh, Dada!" ("No! Give it to me, Father!")

Archer fell on his butt. He stared at his twin disbelievingly, before his lips widened into a cunning smirk as he got an idea.

Both Arthur and Shirou paused when they heard a pathetic sob from below. They turned to see the other twin trembling on the floor, his lips quivering and his doe eyes dangerously wet with tears. Archer hiccuped, prompting his father to scrambled towards him.

"No, no no no no! Daniel - or are you Joseph? Whatever - don't cry please!" Arthur begged at his poor son, lifting him up to give him a hug. He turned to frown disappointedly at Shirou, who gaped at his twin as if he'd grown two heads, "Apologise to your twin, Joseph - no, Daniel? Whoever you are!"

Shirou was busy staring at his twin in incredulity, so he didn't hear what his father had just said (his eyes started to become unfocused). Archer was about to begin his pitiful wail when Arthur finally blurted out his quick solution.

"Tell you what," he said to the twin on his arm, "You wanted the sword, right?" Arthur lifted the toy sword with his free hand in emphasis.

Archer nodded furiously.

"Then you can have the sword, dear, and your twin can have the wand. Sounds good?"

Archer visibly brightened. Shirou still hadn't responded.

Thus, Archer became the next proud wielder of the legendary ancestral sword of House Weasley, the Foam-Excalibur.

* * *

Shirou stared at his pink, princess foam wand blankly. (Arthur bought it in a Muggle toy shop just recently. Why would he buy that, and why _pink_ , Shirou had no idea.)

Archer, on the other hand, was giddily waving his foam sword around and deliberately hitting his twin's face with it all the time.

Shirou had had enough. He took a blue-coloured crayon (their father bought that from a different shop, because he honestly thought Muggles used crayons to write instead of quills), then wrote something on a nearby wall, ignoring Archer all together.

His twin got curious, but before he could see over his twin's shoulder, Shirou showed it to him.

"sHAmE oN YoU"

A lightning struck in the background. It seemed Archer had finally realised what he'd done, because he fell on all four and hysterically garbled some baby words that suspiciously sounded like, "Why did I do that? What happened to me?!"

Shirou smacked Archer with his pink wand like a good brother he was.

* * *

"W-who wrote this on the wall?!" Molly hollered not long after. A few seconds of silence, then, "Arthur! It's your crey - cray - whatever muggle-quill-thing you'd bought!"

"I'm sorry!" Arthur replied like a good husband he was, even if it wasn't (directly) his fault.

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 **By the way, anyone watches the Return of Superman? Not the superhero one, but the Korean TV program about babies/toddlers spending their time with their dads. It's one of my source of inspirations for this chapter :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys!**

 **Finally, it's here!**

 **Sorry for the delay. I'm studying Architecture now, and I really had no time to write properly. I guess from now on my stories would only update during the holidays, which is around December and May-July. My life's so sad right now :')**

 **The poll's result is shown in this chapter! Some people had suggested to me that I should publish a proper poll in my profile. I'll do that the next time I need your votes again. Thanks for that!**

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 **Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or Nasuverse, except for Foam-Excalibur. Glad you guys like it!**

 **Warning: a short chapter of a violent, otherworldly baby fight.**

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 **Shirou and Archer, 1 year old (March, 1980)**

They had kind of expected this to happen.

It was during one night when the reincarnated twins overheard their parents discussing about their newest twins being different than other normal toddlers. Daniel and Joseph, while occasionally childish, often times acted more maturely than their older siblings (especially Fred and George). They behaved nicely, never making their parents' lives a nightmare by messing around the house and finishing their meals despite their initial reluctance.

This was perfectly understandable, of course, since Shirou and Archer were both adults (or in Archer's case, as Shirou liked to put it, _ancient_ ) when they were turned into babies. They very much preferred to be treated as adults than as toddlers.

However, the two former-Emiyas were constantly reminded that they were now in a whole different world than their own. A baby who possesses the intelligence level of an adult was a mystery, for sure, even in the Magical world. There was a chance that they might get shipped off to a lab (or a magical equivalent of that) and dissected to see what makes them unique.

Maybe it was their experience with the Mage Association, or maybe it was those cheesy dramas Taiga had forced Shirou to watch together that led them to this train of thoughts and made them paranoid, but they might as well not tempt the Fates. They had suffered enough.

Thus, Shirou and Archer agreed to observe their older siblings, mainly Fred and George since they were also twins, and maybe try to imitate their toddler-manners.

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* * *

Fred grabbed a piece of cut carrot and stuck it into his nostril that wasn't already filled with a long bean. George chortled in apparent amusement and imitated his twin by putting green beans into his nostrils and making funny faces.

Throughout the show, Bill, Charlie and Percy laughed uncontrollably, while Arthur kept snapping moving pictures with his magical camera to immortalise the stup- _adorable_ moment. Shirou and Archer observed their family's antics with their eyes twitching.

Thank god Molly wasn't here. Arthur had insisted that she had to rest - because she was pregnant ( _again?!_ ) - trusting the Weasly patriach to take care of the kids. Which ended up in a spectacular mess and most likely Molly's pregnancy-fueled wrath later.

Shirou and Archer shuddered at the memory. Oh, so much explosions, broken bones and pained screams, _Skelegrow_ or no.

Fred turned towards his younger siblings and offered them a boogered-carrot. Shirou and Archer shook their heads in a deadpan.

Nevermind imitating them. Might as well be a genius baby than be like _that_.

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* * *

Shirou wanted Archer's toy sword.

Very, _very_ badly.

Shirou didn't like his wand. It was completely unbalanced due to its disproportionately big starry head. It wasn't sharp or pointy (the star's edges were too dull to his liking). And it wasn't even a Merlin's stereotypical wand but _a pink princess wand._

Shirou _hated_ his pink wand, because Archer got the sword instead.

He wanted the Foam-Excalibur, dammit!

Rolling on the floor to dodge a vicious slash, Shirou quickly raised his wand to counterattack. But the wand's cumbersome head screwed up his overall performance, and so his opponent easily dodged it and managed to land a kick on his face, _again_.

"Pooh you," Archer snickered, tapping his sword on his own shoulder as he gleefully watched Shirou rubbing his face in annoyance. "A mageekal gil wih a p-pfft! Pink wan!" ("A magical girl with a p-pfft! Pink wand!")

Even after the 'Shame On You' revelation incident, Archer still gloated about his foam sword and Shirou's suffering with his pink wand. That shameless bastard.

Yelling a battle cry, Shirou made another attempt to hit Archer with his goddamn wand. He tried to use it like a mace this time, swinging it diagonally from below and letting the wand's heavy head do the job. But, Shirou had rarely - if never - used a mace before despite his vast repertoire of weapons, and the new wand possessed no useful battle skill or whatsoever, so he ended up stumbling instead.

Archer laughed at his struggle, calling him "Pink Mageekal Gil" ("Pink Magical Girl") all the time.

Shirou patience had finally snapped.

"' **Ace,** _ **ON**_ **!** "

Blue lightning bolts appeared out of nowhere, bathing their bedroom in eerie light. Archer gasped in alarm as Shirou screamed in determination.

Then, the light died down, and there was silence.

Archer gaped at his twin, because there, on Shirou's tiny hands…

...was another Foam-Excalibur.

A legit, _traced_ Foam-Excalibur made of not metal or any hardy material, but _foam_.

Archer didn't have time to laugh or to facepalm (because, of all weapons, his idiot twin chose to trace a _foam_ sword instead. That was, like, the most stupid case of chivalry _ever_ ), as Shirou immediately jumped on him to deliver a vicious slash with his traced sword.

Foam swords clashed, bending immediately upon contact with each other since they're bloody foams. Despite that, the twins fought like their lives depended on it. They had never dueled this intensely ever since they clashed swords during the Fifth Holy Grail War.

However, minutes into the battle, Shirou appeared to be losing. Traced items, no matter how identical they were to the originals, were still inferior relative to the real items. Shirou's Foam-Excalibur was less sturdy and bent more easily than Archer's, guaranteeing a certain victory for the reincarnated Counter Guardian.

With a determined shout, Archer delivered a final, devastating blow. Shirou's traced Foam-Excalibur was snapped flying from his hands, bouncing twice on the baby mat before disappearing in a burst of blue particles.

Archer whooped in triumph, but it quickly died down as a newly traced Foam-Excalibur appeared on Shirou's hands once more.

" _Godjammit_!" Archer cursed. So this must be what his past enemies had felt like when they faced him. Spamming swords without a care in the world was actually pretty annoying.

Shirou smirked (or if you want, gave his twin a vicious gummy smile), making Archer fumed even more.

The battle went on. This time, the Counter Guardian was being pushed back. It dawned to him that Foam-Excalibur, no matter how glorified its history was, was no Noble Phantasm or even a real weapon to begin with. It wasn't meant to last long, especially if it was constantly abused. The only reason why the foam hadn't broken down was due to the weekly _Reparo_ and _Scourgify_.

Archer tsked, not liking the way his twin could win against him with but a traced foam toy. True, a faker like him had no pride in his swords as they were merely imitations of the originals. But Foam-Excalibur was his first _real_ sword ever, dammit, no matter how pathetic it sounded.

And he was not planning to lose to a mere fake!

"' **Ace,** _ **ON**_ **!** "

Prana flowed into Foam-Excalibur, causing lightning bolt patterns to appear on the toy's surface. The foam was now as hard as rocks and as sturdy as bones.

Shirou's eyes widened upon realising what Archer had done out of desperation. As Archer swung his reinforced Foam-Excalibur, Shirou quickly activated his magic circuit to reinforce his own sword.

The swords clashed with a resounding 'clack', this time not bending flimsily like they had minutes ago. A baby fight had now turned, well, violent.

"Muuuu…!" Shirou grunted in exertion, trying very hard to parry Archer's relentless attack. This was bad, he thought, and so he decided to catch his opponent off guard and bring their duel to the whole new level.

They parted, and Shirou used this opportunity to trace a dozen of Foam-Excaliburs in the air. Archer spluttered in indignation (it was _his_ weapon, for fuck's sake, and this prick dared to trace _his_ Foam-Excalibur like it was going out of trend!), but he had no time to express his ire as he had to dive out of the way of the projectiles.

Archer tumbled on the mat, yet even before he managed to regain his footings, a dozen Foam-Excalibur had already appeared in the air, ready to be launched at _Shirou_ -

"Interesting."

Both reincarnated babies stumbled in surprise at the new voice, their traced projectiles dissipating. They whirled around to see an elderly man with a really long white beard and the worst taste of fashion they'd ever seen.

They gaped at the man like a fish, breaking out in a cold sweat when they realised that the adult had seen their magecraft. Surely Gradation Air and Reinforcement done by babies could be counted as accidental magics...right?

The old man continued staring at them, before he smiled in a grandfatherly manner.

"Oh, don't mind this old man," he said cheerfully. "Please, continue playing! It heartens me to watch siblings getting along with each other."

...Is he blind? Which part of their duel showed him that they were getting along?

The man continued to smile amicably, but when he made eye contact with Archer, the Counter Guardian jerked violently and turned to slap Shirou on his face.

The slap, weak and awkward, was still so unexpected that Shirou fell on all fours. He turned to glare at his twin, but the pointed look Archer gave him made him pause. Fortunately, at this angle, the old man couldn't see Archer's secret message to his twin.

 _Cry_ , his look seemed to convey (or maybe it was telepathy, they didn't know), _Just pretend to cry!_

The urgency in his face must be convincing enough, for a second later Shirou began to bawl.

His loud cry alerted the rest of the house's inhabitants, and before long Molly barrelled into the room. By then, Archer had joined his twin, crying very loudly like there was no tomorrow. Their mother connected the dots and turned to glare at the old man, who raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.

"I didn't do anything, I swear," said the old man, unconsciously blurting out the customary response whenever an angry, pregnant Weasley matriarch addressed someone. Molly ignored it in favour of fussing her youngest sons.

Arthur came next, followed by their older brothers. Then, a few more other people who they had never seen before. It seemed their duel was so intense that they failed to notice these strangers' arrival to their home…

...except for _one_.

The twins blinked, their cries trailing off as a well known magical scent reached their noses. As one Shirou and Archer turned to face the crowd, and there they spotted _her_.

She looked different, in a way that was unfamiliar to them both. She was a baby girl, probably a year old, with short, black baby hair and emerald eyes, instead of the long wavy dark hair and aqua eyes she was known of. She was currently being carried by a dark-haired bespectacled man, looking at them both with a bored expression.

Shirou's eyes lit up in delight, while Archer internally cursed himself.

Tohsaka Rin was here.

* * *

 **Dun dun dun duunn!**

 **Stuffs happening here will be explained in the next few chapters, like why Archer suddenly slapped Shirou, or why Rin was bored - though I guess you guys would already know why.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys! Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favs! XD**

 **It seemed I wasn't clear enough in the last chapter. Yes, Rin was reborn as Harry's sister, not fem-Harry. She's one year older than Harry. Huzzah, big sis!**

 **As for her short hair...I tried Googling to see if there's any one-year-old baby girl with long hair, but I can't find any. So, yes, she had short hair for now because she wasn't old enough to grow her hair long.**

 **And sorry, I just noticed that Ron's birthday is on 1 March 1980, so I made a mistake in the previous chapter. For the sake of this fic, I'll change his birthday to sometime in April 1980 (not 1 April...apparently that's Fred and George's birthdays lol).**

 **Well then, enjoy!**

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 **Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or Nasuverse.**

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 **Warning : Rin-centric (needed some intro for her), corrupting babies and cuteness-overload.**

* * *

Tohsaka Rin, now named Anna Potter, felt as if her world had turned upside down.

She thought she'd known all the risks of studying Kaleidoscope under the Wizard Marshall. Zelretch always joked about meeting her other versions from some parallel worlds (the weirdest one was her being a magical girl) and about her being a part of a certain threesome. It was infuriating and completely embarrassing whenever her mentor spew out these ridiculous information, especially when Shirou or Luvia were around.

But because of this Rin had always assumed that 'parallel worlds' meant worlds that shared similar foundation with similar rules. Magecraft had always been a constant, and so do all the rules revolving around its theory and the organisations involving its practice. Zelretch could easily hop around different worlds and still retained his recognition of being a Dead Apostle Ancestor and the Second Magic practitioner (and an overpowered prankster, apparently) because each world that he'd visited more or less had a similar system to her world.

Not this one, though. It was either her mentor hadn't bother to mention the existence of this world, or Zelretch had never been to this world before. _This_ world, in which she'd been reincarnated into, was totally alien to her, in a way that made no sense at all.

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A black dog came into her room.

Rin peered at the animal, wondering how did it managed to come here. Rin was not aware that they had a pet, because in the past four months since her (re-)birth, there was no indication that they had one.

Then, a rat entered her room.

Rin scrunched up her nose in disgust. Ugh, she didn't expect their home to house a rat's nest -

A stag followed.

 _Since when is their house a zoo?!_

At least, the last one to enter was a human - specifically one of her father's best friends, Remus Lupin. They (yes, _they_ , as in the dog, the rat, the stag and the human) lined up in front of her crib, standing proudly as they faced her.

Then, they...bowed, and began tap-dancing.

Rin didn't know if these quartet were expecting her to clap happily and sing with them or something, but apparently they didn't expect her to start frothing.

The merry band of tap-dancer were alarmed by the bubble coming out of her mouth. The stag galloped/scrambled towards her and _transformed into her father_ -

She fainted.

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* * *

"Hey, ickle Anna," James cooed at her as he seated her on the baby mat. Behind him, one of her self-appointed uncles, Sirius Black, took out a broom and grinned mischievously. Rin idly noted her mother was suspiciously absent. "As my daughter and heir to the Potter, you are obliged to master this one important technique Uncle Paddy is about to demonstrate."

Rin wanted to say why it was Sirius who'd demonstrate to her a family technique - surely it was supposed to be closely guarded and Potters-only - but eight-months-old Anna tilted her head cutely instead and asked, "Aah?"

"You'll see, you'll see," Sirius said, then continued in a lower voice, "Better to corrupt you now when your mother isn't around to stop us."

Then, he _mounted_ the broom, and shot off into the sky.

 _Damn_ , Rin thought, _I so want that_.

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* * *

It was the first time her parents brought her out of their house to interact with other magi, er, magi _cal_ people.

They traveled using the Floo Network - a very unpleasant and totally inconceivable but stupidly common way of teleportation in the Wizarding world - to The Burrow. Apparently, it was the family home of the Weasley family, and one of the temporary secret meeting places of the Order of the Phoenix. The Order was created to oppose the rise of a Dark Lord named Voldemort (and why, _why_ a Dark Lord would name themselves _that_ ) and Rin's current family, the Potters, was one of its members.

Rin could only gleam so much from eavesdropping her parents' conversation, but the Dark Lord problem appeared to be a serious concern to her family. She loved her current family, maybe even more than the Tohsakas, and she was determined to help her family out as soon as possible. She didn't want to lose her parents and her sibling again, especially her younger brother who was still inside her mother's womb.

But being a baby meant it was not that convenient to bring her around whenever there was an Order meeting. Sure, she was not as difficult to handle as any normal babies, but the fact still remained that someone needed to watch over baby Anna all the time. Besides, bringing a baby into a room where violent arguments between members could begin anytime was a bad idea, and Anna was prone to fainting for no reason, as Lily had argued.

James looked sheepish when she said that.

Thus, one of Rin's parents would usually stayed at home to take care of her, while the other went to attend the meeting. That lasted for about a year, until Rin finally grew desperate for information regarding the Wizarding War (and, well, she was bored) that she utilised her puppy-eyes skill to convince her parents to bring her along.

"Well," Lily sighed exasperatedly as she saw her husband crumble into dust upon receiving the cuteness-overload deathblow delivered by her daughter, "I guess we could bring Anna along. I heard the Weasleys have a lot of kids around, anyway."

A lot, indeed.

Rin's eyes twitched upon seeing the number of children the Weasleys had had. There was Bill, the oldest, followed by Charlie, Percy and apparently another _two_ sets of twins. That was already seven children, and Molly Weasley, the matriarch, was now eight-months _pregnant_.

And they were all redheads. It seemed red hair was such a dominant trait in the Weasley family that all of its members had red hair of similar shade. She idly wondered if Shirou's family also had a trait like this before he was orphaned by the Great Fuyuki Fire.

Then again, Archer had white hair. She had theorised that it could be due to overuse of magecraft over the years, but it could also be a genetic trait -

A sharp cry echoed from upstairs, breaking her out of her musing. Molly, in all her pregnant glory, could still dash upstairs very quickly, and soon the others followed with their wands out, except for James who was still carrying Rin.

They reached a room in the second floor, where an old man was viciously glared at by an irritated Molly, and a twin redhead babies crying their eyes out. The old man (gods, she itched to shave the damn beard) claimed he didn't do anything, prompting Rin to roll her eyes.

At least, the twins' sobs had died down when they'd all arrived. They looked up at the crowd, and one of the twins brightened up upon seeing her.

Rin sighed. Damn, it seemed she'd gained her first fanboy in this world.

Said fanboy began to stand shakily on his stubby legs and reached up towards her direction, but his father scooped him and his twin up before the boy could do anything else.

"James, come with me," Arthur Weasley said as they all descended back into the dining room. "And bring your baby girl with you! I've just recently bought a playpen for Danny and Jo, since they always wandered into the kitchen. Ickle Anna could make some new friends!"

James agreed, and moved to put his daughter in the playpen. But Rin's tiny grip on him tightened, and she unleashed a fearsome pout.

 _Bring me with you to the meeting_ , her pout seemed to convey, because that was the main reason why she wanted to follow her parents here. Rin stole a glance at the babies in the playpen - one of whom was already crawling towards her - and turned back to add some tears and wobbly lips to her pout.

James wavered at the relentless attack, but Lily slapped his arm and gave him a pointed look. He took a deep breath and painfully looked at his daughter, who widened her eyes in betrayal as he slowly pried her grip on him open.

 _Father, no!_

Alas, her traitorous father left her, alone and miserable in a playpen filled with babies, one of whom was a dreaded fanboy.

"Jammit," she grumbled, and closed her eyes in resignation. Rin sighed, and turned to glare at the boy -

" _Lin_!"

Rin blinked, before frowning. She must have heard wrong -

"Lin!" the fanboy cried, as he stumbled around before finally stopping in front of her. His eyes were locked on her as he pat his chest and said, "'s me, Chiyou!"

Chiyou…? What -

A toy sword materialised in the boy's hand.

It all clicked.

" _Sch-Ch-Chiyou_?!" Rin spluttered, struggling to say his name with her baby mouth. The boy - Shirou - nodded eagerly, letting the toy dissipate. Rin tackled him in a hug, making them both fall onto the baby mat - and despite the awkward position, Rin felt relieved for the first time since she was reborn.

Shirou laughed and patted her back. They stayed like that for a minute, before Rin rolled over and sat in front of him. She looked at him up and down, noting that he was reborn with red hair again, though this time his eyes were blue. And now that she knew he wasn't a fanboy, she realised he looked so damn cute as a baby.

As she scrutinised him, he did the same to her, staring at her short hair for a bit longer. Rin noticed and blushed, shyly tugging her own hair. She felt Shirou softly pat her head, and when she looked up at him, he beamed at her.

Rin wanted to cover her face with her tiny palms and let out a long "D'awwwww", but instinct kicked in. She looked sideways and grumbled instead, in a 'tsundere' manner that was familiar. Shirou chuckled at her cute antics.

Though, as she turned, she caught a glimpse of another redhead baby at the corner of the playpen, sitting on the mat and covering his face with both of his hands. Rin blinked. Oh, she forgot the other boy, apparently Shirou's twin…

"…"

She waddled slowly towards the other boy. Shirou noticed this, and desperately tried to stop her. But he tripped over his own feet and fell hopelessly onto the mat.

The other boy peeked through his chubby fingers, and warbled something like "Pug" upon noticing her over his shoulder.

"Ooh?" Rin began, grinning in amusement. The boy turned back to facepalm, while Shirou sighed in resignation. "Woo's dis?"

Cue a mad (baby) cackle.

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* * *

"Voldemort's targeting the Bones now, and I heard his next move might be this weekend."

"Then, we should ambush them -"

"MWAHAHAHAHHAHAH _HAHA_ \- "

All the Order members jumped at the unexpected high-pitched laughter. Heads turned to look at the general direction where the baby playpen was.

"..."

"..."

"...Blimey, for some reason that laughter reminds me of you when you were about to prank someone, James."

"Who, me?"

* * *

 **Edit - zoo, on 7/12/2018. Thanks, Knightowl 4183!**


	6. Chapter 6

*****omg guys, don't write down the meaning of 'ana' in the reviews please! I'm trying not to think too much about it! :""""""""""0**

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 **Hi guys! Thanks for all the reviews, favs and follows! :)**

 **I just want to say that in the previous chapter, there was one part which was actually inspired by a review by an anonymous guest:**

Oh, I can already imagine that reunion:  
*points to one* "Shirou?" Nod. *points to the other* "Archer?" Nod. "Twins?" Double nod. *mad cackling ensues*

 **I forgot to say this in the previous chapter's A/N, sorry for that!**

 **As you've noticed, there are some instances where I got inspired by reviews. It's actually quite difficult to write a humor that isn't too cliche or common, so suggestions are actually quite valuable to me. If you guys have any funny ideas, feel free to include them in your review :)**

 **Though, bear in mind that not all suggestions may get translated to this fic, and some might need to be altered.**

 **Even this chapter has one that was inspired by Suzululu4moe's review, though I won't write it down here or else it'll become a spoiler. I know the review wasn't exactly a suggestion, but as I wrote down this chapter, I just ended up getting inspired by it lol. Sorry, Suzululu4moe, you might not like it, but I couldn't help it. This will be continued in the Author Notes at the end of the chapter.**

 **Oh, one more thing. I realised that many people think now that Rin is here, Archer won't be so smug anymore. Hell, even I thought so too. But the damn Servant thought otherwise, and he told me he won't go down without a fight. So, yes, there will be war.**

 **Without further ado, enjoy!**

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 **Disclaimer : I do not own Fate/Stay Night or Harry Potter.**

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 **Warning : Baby speech (this is quite inevitable since Rin likes to talk :') ), the beginning of war and violence, hypnosis, overprotective James and poor, poor Shirou. And some Nasuverse technicalities, since I adopt a bit from Gabriel Blessing. Though, the rest is my own interpretation.**

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After laughing non-stop for close to ten minutes (she would've continued, but then the twins pointed out to her that it was their first time seeing the great Tohsaka Rin losing control like this, with all the tears and snot all over her red face), Rin finally stopped laughing. She still hiccuped a few times, coughing to stop the bubbling laughter that was about to escape yet again. In front of her, both Emiya/Weasley twins sat, unimpressed.

That was when she'd noticed that they looked identical, and before she could laugh again, she quickly asked them both, "Acha?"

The boys sighed miserably, before nodding in unison. Rin frowned at them.

"Weech wan?" ("Which one?")

Surprisingly, both pointed at each other.

One of them spluttered indignantly, before shaking his head in denial, "Ee's Acha!" ("He's Archer!")

The other one stared back at his twin, unimpressed.

Rin slapped the unimpressed one in the face.

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing his face in annoyance. "I'm Chiyou, jammit! Ee's Acha!" ("I'm Shirou, dammit! He's Archer!")

To be honest, Rin really couldn't tell which one was who. They looked remarkably alike, exactly the same even, with the same behaviour and speech pattern. She continued to watch them both as Shirou and Archer pulled each other's collar and had a staredown match, in a perfectly identical manner.

"Chiyou, Acha," she called, and how did they turned to face her at the same time?! This had never happened during the Holy Grail War! "Cwap."

The twins looked puzzled, until Rin made a gesture of 'swapping' by moving her right thumb and index finger side to side.

"I coun' to twee!" ("I'll count to three!") Rin said, before scrunching her eyes shut and covering her face with her hands, for good measure. "Wan!"

The twins didn't move.

"Two!"

Still unmoving.

"Twee!' she exclaimed, before intensely comparing both boys again. "Now lemme chee if de's any diffen'." ("Now let me see if there's any difference.")

Shirou and Archer stared at her in a deadpan, as they didn't even bother to move. Though, they thought it was endearing to see Rin so childish like this. Maybe her being a baby had something to do with this kind of rare occurrence.

Rin hummed cutely, before moving to slap the one who she'd just slapped a minute ago.

But before she'd even raised her hand, the about-to-be-slapped boy blurted out, " _Mageekal gil_!"

Rin froze. The other twin looked confused.

"Wat didja say?" Rin asked sweetly. ("What did you say?")

"M-mageekal gil," the boy stuttered nervously. "A-an' t-t-tweesom - "

Rin kicked him in the face.

"Y-y-yer not chupose' to c-caey 'em awd lawd, 'tupid _Chiyou_!" ("Y-y-you're not supposed to s-say them out loud, stupid _Shirou_!")

Archer blinked innocently.

* * *

"Cho, Danny an' Jo?" ("So, Danny and Jo?")

Now that she could differentiate the twins (Shirou was the one with a red face from her surprisingly painful kick), Rin was curious by their new names.

She didn't expect the twins to get so animated, though.

"I'm Jo! Joceph!" Shirou exclaimed, standing up suddenly and patting his chest like some gorilla.

Rin was startled, even more so when Archer pushed his twin down as he himself stood up.

"I'm Jo, 'tupid! Yer Danny!" Archer shouted at his twin.

Then, they began squabbling over who was Jo and who was Danny, ignoring Rin altogether.

Rin would never have thought the two former Emiyas could be this childish, especially when she recalled the determined Shirou and the cynical Archer. They clashed swords and ideals during the Fifth Holy Grail war, and in the end Archer might have accepted that Shirou was too much like a cockroach to be killed permanently, but even years after the war Archer's reasoning for his hatred towards the ideal of Ally of Justice still plagued Shirou sometimes.

Now, though, they were so carefree, for once forgetting that distorted dream and its relevant problems.

Besides, watching them awkwardly shoving each other and bickering like this was actually quite...entertaining.

"Why Jo?" Rin suddenly interjected, prompting both twins to snapped their heads to look at Rin with identical heated glares.

"Jo's olde'!"

Rin raised an eyebrow.

"Chouldn' Acha be Jo? Ee's ancien'." ("Shouldn't Archer be Jo? He's ancient.")

Archer whooped in triumph, never even realising that Rin was also mocking his true age. Shirou complained indignantly.

"Den again, Acha ish a jekk, cho Chiyou chould be Jo." ("Then again, Archer is a jerk, so Shirou should be Jo.")

"Oi!"

Shirou crawled to sit beside Rin, before sticking his tongue out at Archer.

Two vs. one, with the first point going to team Rin. Finally, some revenge on her former Servant.

But the enemy proved to be quite sly, because Archer began to smirk disturbingly at Rin.

"Anna?"

Guh. That blasted name. It was a good name, alright, with good meanings like 'favour', 'grace' and 'beautiful'. Except, before she was reincarnated Rin was a Japanese, and she knew how it sounded like and what it meant in her native language.

Archer knew this. Hell, Shirou had noticed too, judging by a snort which had inevitably escaped his mouth. Rin's eyes twitched violently as Archer grinned smugly at her.

1-1. Augh, she ought to blast Shirou with Gandr, that traitor.

* * *

"Acha, why yer 'ere?" ("Archer, why are you here?")

Rin already had a good guess as to why Shirou was here (it was her fault actually, which was one of the reasons why she hadn't Gandr-ed him yet), but she didn't know being reborn into a new world was a part of a Counter Guardian's contract with Alaya.

Archer shrugged, "Mama gabe bir'h to me." ("Mother gave birth to me.")

Rin's eyes twitched again. Shirou gave a deadpan look to his twin, though occasionally he took a glance at his (...former? Current? Hopefully future?) girlfriend, concerned by her constant eye-twitching. That couldn't be healthy.

Rin knew Archer (and honestly Shirou too) could be snarky and sarcastic sometimes, but apparently she wasn't immune enough to this shit.

Rin gave him a pointed look, and Archer must've understood what it meant (it was pain, so much pain from Gandr being shoved up his ass) because he finally capitulated.

"Alanyan tol' me to khall de 'umanichi by mya nya nya nya - "

Or that was what Rin thought she'd heard him say, considering she didn't understand a single thing his long baby speech was trying to convey. It was already hard enough to understand simple words, let alone the more complex ones. All went in one ear and out the other.

Hm...were those cat ears? Maybe Archer can be her pet now...

Apparently, Archer's baby speech had a hypnotic effect on Rin, so Shirou quickly moved to stuff a pygmy puff chew toy to his twin's mouth.

* * *

Shirou's distinct red marks from her kick on his face began to fade, and it became challenging to tell the twins apart once more.

Or at least, by normal senses. Rin almost smacked herself in the face because she forgot that she was a damn magus, and magi in her original world could detect magical traces via their own senses in a particular way. Some 'saw' magical traces, others 'heard' them. Even Shirou 'smelled' magical scent.

In Rin's case, she 'touched' it.

It was an oversight in her part for not realising this method (maybe the hilarious thought of Shirou and Archer being reborn as twins had muddled her brain), especially now that Shirou had inadvertently blurted out 'Magical Girl' and 'threesome' to help her identify him. They were two things only Rin, Shirou and Zelretch (and technically Luvia, but dear god please don't let her be in this world too) had known what they really meant. Archer didn't know, and she hoped he would never find out about it.

But then, came another dilemma. Sure, she could tell the difference between two magi by touching their skin and feeling the difference, but what if the two magi were essentially of the same individual? Jo and Danny were both 'Shirou Emiya' reincarnated, and their magical traces were almost identical.

Well, 'almost'. Fortunately, magical traces were also like birthmarks, and even identical twins may have different birthmarks that could help their parents identify which is who. There should be a faint feeling which could tell both Emiyas apart, but in order to pinpoint them, holding hands were not enough.

She had to hug them.

Thank gods they were babies now. If they were adults, it would be most embarrassing to hug Archer first before realising that she was hugging the wrong twin. Even more so that she'd had to hug tightly because of the layers of clothing that impede her sense of touch. Rin could already imagine saying, "Whoops, sorry. Wrong person," then moving on to hug the other one in the future.

And that was before considering her former Servant's stupid remarks.

Ugh, why must it be so hard for Archer to just honestly identify himself? Rin swore it was all to torture her for the sake of his own entertainment. Guy needed more vacations to curb this annoying trait.

Luckily, for her first try, the red marks on Shirou's face had yet to fade completely, so she managed to hug the correct twin.

It was awkward, but at the same time familiar. He smelled different, but the feeling was still the same -

"Awwwww, they're so cute!"

They jumped, automatically separating from each other in embarrassment. The three babies turned to see Molly cooing at Shirou and Rin, even if they were no longer hugging each other.

Apparently, the Order meeting had just ended, for there were quite a few adults coming out of the dining room to see what was going on. For some reason, the three reincarnated babies felt like they were animals in the zoo - cute ones, in particular, like some panda family.

Heavy footsteps were heard, and moments later Arthur came stumbling with his magical camera. He soon cried in despair, because he came in too late and the hugging moment was over.

"Noooo! I haven't captured it yet!"

Shirou felt bad for his father, so he took the initiative to hug her again to please him.

Sounds of rapid clicking were like the chattering of a machine gun, with the speed the Weasley patriarch captured the picture. Now Rin felt like they were pandas told to jump into a ring of fire and pose in front of the camera.

The other adults also let out sounds like "Ooohh" and "Awwww". Even Sirius was chanting, "Ship! Ship! Ship!", though he quickly went quiet after James casted a Silencing Charm on him and glared at him.

But the seed was sown, and an ugly thought began to form in James' mind.

When Molly jokingly commented that she should adopt Anna too so that she could play with her sons all the time, he exploded.

"NO! No boyfriend until she's thirty!"

Silence.

Shirou paled.

* * *

 **Like I said, poor, poor Shirou.**

 **As for Anna Potter...It's up to you if you wish to find out the meaning of 'ana' in Japanese, though I suggest you don't. Honest. After Suzululu4moe told me its meaning, I couldn't stop thinking about it too. I did consider changing Rin's name, but other than the reason mentioned in the beginning of the chapter, I couldn't think of any other names. Besides, I actually like the name Anna (because of K2 lol), and there are also many names around the world that might have a different meaning in different language. Like Tai, for example, because while it's quite a common name in Japanese (Tai, Taichi, Taiki, all those Digimon protagonist name hahaha), 'tai' also means 'poo' in Indonesian. So, yeah. Sorry for all the Tais out there!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys!**

 **It's not December 25th yet, but I might miss the chance of saying it in the future, so...Merry Christmas!** **I'll be going overseas soon, so there might be no updates around Christmas and New Year period.**

 **First part of the chapter is inspired by SentinalSlice's review. Thanks for the reviews!**

* * *

 **Disclaimer : I don't own Harry Potter or Nasuverse, except for Foam-Excalibur.**

* * *

 **Warning : a very, _very_ traumatising nightmare, poor Archer**— **wait, no, _take that back_** — **, Shirou and Archer bonding (oh, wow. Very much wow.)** **and a cliff-hanger.**

* * *

 **April, 1980**

Archer blinked.

He was standing on familiar sand. Sounds of grating gears reached his ears, and the smog impaired his vision as usual. Letting out a heavy sigh, he turned—

To see a red-haired baby.

They both blinked.

Spluttering, Archer quickly checked on his body—and yes, he was also a baby, identical to the one in front of him, down to the pudgy limbs and chubby cheeks. The only difference was their surrounding; the ground was similarly coarse, but there were no accompanying smog and gears. He let out a high-pitched groan. Fuck you, Alaya.

But his nightmare had yet to end.

Glaring at each other, they shifted their stances, hands ready to call for swords. However, instead of the familiar sturdy hilts of black and white married blades, their hands gripped on something soft and _squishy_ —

...Archer dared not to look at his own hands. _Fuck, Alaya, don't you dare_ —

But in his twins' hands were familiar identical _foam_ swords. Foam-Excaliburs…

 _Why Foam-Excalibur?! That's his! Not this infuriating bastard's, he already got his own_ _wand, Faker_ —

Wait.

Gulping, Archer tore his eyes away from his twin, hoping against hope to see metal and very pointy blades in his Reality Marble…

But, foam swords. Everywhere, everyplace, as far as his eyes could _see_ , he couldn't spot any of his lethal blades except for _his_ Foam-Excaliburs, dotting his Unlimited Blade Works—

" _PUG YOU, ALANYAAAA—_ "

* * *

"— _AAAAAHHHH!_ "

Archer jerked awake, breathing hard and sweating all over. From the corner of his eye, his twin did the same, his face pale and truly horrified. Their eyes met, widening in understanding, before scrunching their eyes shut so that they could check on their precious Reality Marble, _oh please Alaya have some mercy—_

Foam-Excalibur!

...Was there, standing erect beside the real Excalibur in all its glory. Hrunting, checked. Caladbolg, checked. Kanshou and Bakuya, checked. All checked; all of his swords were here. Safe and pointy.

Sighing explosively in relief, Archer slumped in their crib. Shirou did the same after finishing his own check to his version of Unlimited Blade Works.

Glancing at his twin, he moved to gave Shirou a pat on the back. Shirou pat him back.

God, that was scary as hell.

.

.

.

* * *

The nightmare was too real to be just a dream.

Archer was scared shitless. Why did it happen? Was it a premonition of an imminent disaster in the future? Was it because he selfishly took Foam-Excalibur first? Wait, no; his twin's Reality Marble was also filled with foam swords, not the magical girl wand. Was it because of his aria?

Inwardly, he began to recite his aria. Just to make sure.

 **I am the bone of my sword. Steel is my body and fire is my blood...**

Magical energy began to gather in his body.

 **I have created over a thousand blades...**

Blueprints of legendary swords appeared in his mind.

 **Unknown to Death, nor known to Life…**

His twin shrieked in alarm, yet Archer ignored him.

 **Have withstood pain to create many weapons…**

Yes, no problem so far...his aria was almost finished—

 **Yet, those hands will only hold Foam** — _I mean_ , **will** _ **never**_ **hold anything,** _fuckkk_ —

Archer began to bawl pitifully.

.

.

.

* * *

' _what's wrong with him?'_

Wrote Rin on the piece of parchment Arthur had given him, together with the crayons. To prevent the 'Shame on You' disaster from happening again, the adults put Danny, Jo and the visiting Anna inside the playpen, away from the pristine wall. Arthur had made sure of that.

Shirou "hmm?"ed, took a glance at his moping twin, before scrawling something on the same parchment with a red crayon.

' _dunno_ ,' it said as the boy shuddered. ' _maybe nightmare'_.

Rin frowned at the two. Shirou, and surely Archer too, were hardened men tempered in war and blood. Even in their previous world, any nightmare that Shirou might have had never affected him this way. What kind of dream could reduce them to this?

Shirou noted her baffled expression, for he wrote something else.

' _foam excalibur only in ubw. no NPs. foam only.'_

Rin blinked. Foam Excalibur?

' _what's that?'_

Shirou scowled. ' _Archer's sword'_.

What.

Then, he traced a familiar foam toy sword, before quickly dissipating it. Archer whined in the background. He'd purposely left the sword in their crib because he didn't want to be constantly reminded of his dilemma early this morning.

Rin snorted, before laughing so hard she wheezed. She could totally imagine only this toy sword in Unlimited Blade Works. Served them right for being so overpowered.

Shirou only grumbled, letting it go only because she was his girlfriend (not that he'd say that out loud, especially not in the vicinity of James Potter), but Archer wasn't as patient as him. He huffed, annoyed at the baby girl in front of him.

However, he didn't have much blackmail material at the moment, so Archer couldn't really turn the table on her. So the next best thing he could do was to divert her laughter to his twin.

He snatched the green crayon in Rin's hands, before writing something on the parchment.

' _at least, i have sword_ ,' he wrote. Then, he pointed at his twin, smirked, and continued. ' _he gets the magical wand_.' For good measure, he traced Shirou's pink wand and presented it to her.

Shirou sputtered, scrambling to seize the wand from Rin so that he could hide it. Rin's face was torn between amused and, curiously, embarrassment. Archer wondered why…

A memory niggled at his mind. Something Zelretch had said decades ago, but for the love of UBW he couldn't remember what…

Maybe next time.

.

.

.

* * *

Shirou and Archer stumbled over each other in panic when their mother's water suddenly broke.

They were made even more hopeless when Arthur quickly put them in their crib, not that they could do anything helpful in this situation. All they did was to get in the way of their father as he scrambled to carry Molly to St Mungo's Hospital through the Floo.

The rest of the Weasley were left behind in the Burrow. Bill, as the oldest, gathered his siblings in the living room and comforted the younger ones who were confused over what was going on. Bill cuddled with Archer and Charlie with Shirou, while Percy hold Fred and George close—then, they huddled together, waiting anxiously for their parents' return.

It was truly the first time Shirou and Archer felt so useless; not even when they were futilely trying to help Saber in the Fifth Holy Grail War did they feel this miserable. For all the weapons in their arsenal, none could help ease their mother the pain of childbirth. Hell, they even doubted that magic in this world could help much, considering they could remember the pale and very exhausted Molly upon their births.

A few minutes passed by in silence, broken occasionally by Fred or George whining. At one point, the Floo flared to reveal the Potters (and the Weasley children quickly deflated upon realising that it wasn't their parents) whom Arthur had asked to help look for his family in the Burrow. Rin was there too, quickly huddling together with the Emiya twins to offer comfort. For once, she didn't care who she hugged between the twins.

Five painful hours of sitting around doing nothing—and finally, Arthur's face emerged from the Floo (prompting Rin to splutter), happy with the good news.

"The baby is born," he exclaimed joyously. "Come to St Mungo's, kids. Time to see your newest sibling!"

And so, ten minutes later, they met one pudgy, red, crying infant named Ronald.

He was fascinating, no matter how ugly Ronald was at the moment. Emiya Shirou was a Sword, someone who expertised in saving people _and_ killing people. But it was their first time meeting an innocent babe up close, one of their own blood to boot; someone who deserved to be protected at all cost. Remembering Ilya and her horrible fate, Shirou and Archer swore there and then to be a good older brother to little Ron.

.

.

.

* * *

 **May, 1980**

But there was only one Ron.

One Ron, for the both of them.

Obviously, they'd compete for the title of the best older brother. Not to mention Bill, Charlie, Fred and George were also there. It'd be a fierce competition between the brothers.

Luckily, their parents gave Shirou and Archer a chance to try be older brothers first, since the rest had done the same when the twin Emiyas were still babies. Though, that didn't mean they could not watch how the one-year-old twins interact with ickle Ronniekins. Behind the ajar door, Fred and George were on the floor while Percy was above them, followed by Charlie, Bill, Molly and finally Arthur with his ever-present camera—all peeking inside.

* * *

"Ohh! The Muggle baby rattle! Jo's going to use it!"

"Wait, wait. Which one is Jo again?"

"...For now, let's just assume the right one is Joseph, and the left one Daniel."

"Ah, Ronniekins laughs! One point goes to Jo!"

"Danny doesn't seem to like losing against his twin—Ooh! The Pygmy Puff Plushie!"

"Why do they keep using the muggle toys? They should've used the Farting toy! Ron's gonna love it!"

"Fart! Fart!"

"The Farting toy is behind Jo! Just a little bit…"

A long, hearty fart echoed throughout the room.

"Yes!"

Daniel snorted, before bursting out laughter.

"...By Merlin's ba—I mean, _beard_ , his lungs are atrocious beasts! His laughter echoed so loudly!"

"Oh! Ron laughs too! Whose point is this again?"

"Danny's, I think—"

A big teddy bear suddenly appeared in Ron's crib, prompting the baby to cry out in delight.

"Where did that come from?!"

"I think Jo did that, judging from his...smug gummy smile."

"Accidental magic?"

"Nevermind that; another point goes to Jo!"

Unnoticed by their parents, both Fred and George eyed the teddy bear. Oh, how they want one too! It's not fair Ronniekins got the teddy bear before them!

Suddenly, the teddy bear turned into a giant spider. Ron was startled, before bawling very loudly.

"What—spider?! That's going to traumatise him for life!"

Molly was about to barge into the room when Arthur stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Wait," he whispered, before nodding his head at the younger twins in the room. "Leave it to them."

Molly frowned at him, before finally relenting upon noticing that her youngest son's cry had died down. Joseph immediately threw the giant spider out of the crib, away from Ron's sight, while Daniel calmed their baby brother down. They worked together in lifting his mood up, even going as far as squeezing the Farting toy repetitively just to make Ron laugh again.

"...I've recorded it! I've recorded it!"

.

.

.

* * *

 **June, 1980**

Once again, Fates reared its ugly head.

It was Archer's luck acting up this time. At least, their family was spared from the worst of their horrible luck.

It all started when baby Ron fell sick.

The reincarnated Emiyas felt useless once more. Newborns falling sick was common, but that didn't mean it was less terrifying. Shirou almost traced Avalon in an attempt to heal his baby brother when Arthur beat him to it.

"It's alright, Danny," he soothed Shirou, who, for once, didn't automatically protest that he was Joseph. "Mummy and Daddy will bring him to the hospital, where the healers can make him better."

However, Shirou and Archer refused to be useless anymore. They tugged at their father's sleeves, asking to be brought along to St Mungo's. At least, they'd be there for Ron.

Arthur conceded, and carried them in his arms ("Oof! You two are getting heavy!") while Molly held a feverish Ron. They went through the Floo Network to arrive at St Mungo's, slightly blinded by the fire (and its ridiculousness. The twins did wonder how did Rin react to the magical teleportation method) but otherwise fine. They were disappointed when Arthur left them in the waiting room on the fifth floor, specially provided for children whose parents have to see the healers.

And there, inside a very big but old fashioned playpen, was where they met _her_.

Saber of the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Arturia Pendragon.

* * *

 **Soon, people, soon.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys. Sorry for the long wait. This chapter was quite difficult to write, since it's hard to find (innocent) humour when we're talking about the Death Eaters. And there isn't much known about how the Malfoy family interact with each other in Harry Potter, so some characters might be a bit OOC here. Anyway, I've compensated it with a slightly longer chapter than usual, so forgive me. :')**

 **Without further ado, enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer : I don't own HP nor FSN.**

 **Warning : a baby King is coming! OOC characters, and too bad, Shirou!**

* * *

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"Merlin's beard!" Someone from the meeting room...cursed?

Arturia Pendragon, the ex-Once and Future King and ex-student of the Magus of Flower, spurted out her milk in an uncharacteristically undignified manner. Narcissa, her mother, immediately fussed over her, but Arturia paid her no mind because _since when Merlin has a beard._

And the more she eavesdropped on the meeting, the more she learned stupidly-unnecessary things about Merlin, true or not.

"—By Merlin's moldy pants—"

"—at in the name of Merlin's most baggy Y-fronts—"

"—Merlin's saggy _left_ —"

Arturia screamed like a (baby) banshee in an attempt to drown out the damn word.

* * *

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.

.

Arturia eyed the...individual in front of her curiously.

She had never seen this kind of being before; he/she was small in comparison to a normal human, with spindly arms and legs, oversized head and eyes as well as pointed bat-like ears. Arturia frowned at the individual's state of clothes—it was dirty and tattered, presumably made of an old pillowcase. Said individual met her gaze in wonder, his/her large, bulbous eyes widening to the point Arturia could see her own reflection on them.

Their impromptu staring-match was broken by her father, Lucius, who kicked the individual's back.

"Get to it, Dobby," he sneered at the individual, now made known to her as Dobby.

Dobby whimpered pitifully but obeyed nonetheless. He (judging by the name, Arturia assumed Dobby was a male) waved his hand, and baby Arturia immediately began to float. While Dobby cleaned her diapers, the former King stared at her new-father in shock and disappointment.

Lucius must've seen something in her eyes, because he let out a long sigh before crouching in front of his floating daughter.

"Your mother is ill, dear," he said gently, disregarding the fact that little Regina might be too young to understand. "She won't be here for a while so please bear with Dobby while she recovers."

Lucius used his cane to prod Dobby not-so-gently, prompting the poor being to squeak.

"S-Sir, yes sir!" he wailed. "Dobby shall take care of Young Mistress—"

"Not so loud, you dumb elf," Lucius interjected harshly, smacking his servant on the head. "You're lucky my daughter is here or I would've used Cruciatus on you. Be a good elf and punish yourself later."

Arturia didn't know what 'Cruciatus' is, but it must be something terrible as Dobby started trembling in fear. Despite his emotional turmoil, however, Dobby's magic never wavered as he gently lowered Arturia onto the mat. Lucius tsked at him, before leaving his daughter's room to attend a meeting.

Arturia wanted to comfort the poor elf (?), but before she could do anything Dobby began to bang his own head on the floor.

"Oh, Dobby is a bad elf!" he cried loudly, apparently punishing himself per his master's order. "Bad, bad!"

Arturia scrambled to stop him. She waved her tiny hands in front of the elf, but it was futile—Dobby was too busy injuring himself to notice his charge.

After the sixth bang, Arturia had had enough.

"Aaaahhhh!" she screamed, startling Dobby out of his act. He blinked dizzily, before clambering to fuss over her.

"D-Dobby is sorry," Dobby sobbed, bowing his head in front of her. "Young Mistress must have been disturbed—"

"Aah, aah," Arturia cooed, patting Dobby's shoulder awkwardly. She couldn't offer comforting words to the poor elf, so she hugged him instead.

Dobby froze, unfamiliar with the gesture of kindness.

Arturia was unbothered by Dobby's lack of response, but it still broke her heart to see this poor elf being mistreated by her own father. Shirou had hugged her before, to comfort her intimately for the first time—and the gesture had taught her that she doesn't have to fight and kill to save someone. She rubbed the servant elf's back, noticing the terrible state of his clothes once more.

Arturia pulled away from the impromptu hug. She looked down at her baby romper, thinking that it wouldn't fit Dobby, before looking around until her eyes fell on her baby bonnet, dangling off the side of her crib.

She made a grab at it to no avail; her current body was simply too short. Dobby, thinking that she wanted to wear it, flicked his hand, prompting the bonnet to fly and land on her head, fitting itself snugly.

Arturia pouted, took off her bonnet before giving it to Dobby.

Dobby stared at the bonnet, stunned.

It was then Arturia realised that the bonnet wouldn't have fitted his head due to his large ears. She blushed in embarrassment, but before she could retract her hand, spindly fingers tentatively touched the hat.

"Y-Young Mistress wants to give Dobby her bonnet?" Dobby asked hesitantly.

His voice was so hopeful that Arturia nodded without thinking. She released the bonnet so that Dobby could inspect it.

"Young Mistress has given a bonnet," he said in wonder, hands clutching at the piece of clothing. "Young Mistress gave it to Dobby."

Arturia, not understanding the implication, nodded slowly.

Dobby looked down at the unexpected gift, pursed his lips before hiding the bonnet beneath his clothes/pillowcase.

"D-Dobby is grateful of Young Mistress," he whispered to her, voice full of reverence. Though, a moment later, he deflated. "Young Mistress is not Master, however, so Dobby is not fully free."

Arturia blinked at him rapidly. Did she just do something significant?

"But Dobby can act more independently now because Young Mistress gave Dobby her bonnet," he said to Arturia as he moved to kneel before her. "Dobby knows Young Mistress is powerful, her magic is strong, but Young Mistress is still young. So, Dobby will protect Young Mistress. Dobby wishes to serve Young Mistress!"

That day, Arturia accidentally gained her first 'knight'.

* * *

.

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 **June, 1980**

It wasn't long before Arturia realised that her family...well, wasn't exactly affiliated with good people.

Her father never brought her to any of his meetings, nor did he allow his guests to see her. It was strange to have known only three...no, _four_ individuals in total by the time she was a year old: her father, her mother, her unborn-brother and Dobby. Oh, there are many other house elves in Malfoy manor, as Dobby had claimed, but they were busy with other tasks. He never said anything about her relatives though, nor did her parents; so as she waited eagerly for her brother to be born, Arturia wondered if she had no other relatives.

Well, until Bellatrix Lestrange happened.

"Awww, what a pretty itty bitty baby!" Bellatrix, her newly-introduced aunt, cooed at her.

Arturia blinked at her, before squirming in discomfort as Narcissa's grip on her torso tightened. Bellatrix must've noticed the subtle gesture because her smile stretched into a disturbing smirk, and Arturia swore she saw madness in her aunt's eyes. It reminded her too much of that deranged Caster of the Fourth Holy Grail War, and that couldn't be good.

"Have you taught her our family values, Lucius?" Bellatrix then turned to Lucius, who was seated beside Narcissa. "Especially the Blacks'?"

"...Regina is too young, Bellatrix," her father replied hesitantly. Arturia noted that he seemed somewhat unnerved by her aunt too. "We will begin teaching her when she's—"

"Nonsense, Lucius," her aunt sneered, before smiling sweetly. "At the very least, have you shown her the beauty of the Unforgivable curses?"

Unforgivable _curses_. That doesn't sound pleasant.

"Well, not yet. But—"

"Hah! What a disappointment," Bellatrix rolled her eyes as she threw her hands up. "I don't want my niece to be a pansy like you, Lucius. Makes me wonder how did you become our Lord's second-in-command; I could count the number of times you use the Killing Curse on the fingers of one hand!"

 _What_ curse again?

"My task as the Dark Lord's right-hand man is to control the Ministry and bring it down from the inside out," Lucius seethed. "I am not a barbarian like you, Lestrange."

"And where's the fun in that?" Bellatrix laughed, as if whatever Lucius had said was a joke. "It used to be such a fun torturing the Muggles with you, Malfoy. That was one reason why I allowed you to marry my dear sister. Where's the old you?"

Having fun torturing _who_? Arturia began to see why she'd never met her aunt before this.

"I have a daughter now," Lucius retorted. Arturia noticed his grip on his cane tightening. "My stakes are higher than before. You don't understand because you don't have a child—"

"Bullshit!" Bellatrix shrieked, so suddenly that it startled everyone in the room, including her own husband Rodolphus Lestrange. "Your child has become a weakness, Malfoy! You've lost your fangs! Why, I ought to tell my Lord—"

"What?" Lucius reeled back. "Don't be unreasonable—"

"Um, honey..."

"Who, me?" Bellatrix stood up as she screamed. "We are the Death Eaters! Lord Voldemort's most trusted! We are supposed to serve our Lord to the best of our abilities—"

"Honey—"

"Our continuation matters too!" Lucius stood up as well. "We Purebloods are required to produce heirs and continue our lineage—"

"Oh, so you prioritise fucking _my_ sister over serving our Lord?!"

"Why you—"

"HONEY!" Narcissa suddenly screamed, jolting Arturia out of her daze. Both her father and her aunt turned to her mother, shouting "What?!" at the same time.

Arturia looked up to see her mother's pale face.

"I think my water just broke."

* * *

.

.

.

 _I am going to have a younger brother._

Those words kept repeating in her mind since last night.

Arturia could not help it. Never has she ever had a brother by blood. In the past, she'd only had Kay as a surrogate older brother—and by the time she accepted kingship, Kay was no longer her brother but one of her subjects and part of her loyal knights.

 _Becoming a King is no longer being a human._

But now, she wasn't King Arthur, the Ruler of Britain; nor was she Saber, the King of Knights. She was now Regina Malfoy, daughter of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy family until her brother was born. Lucius did sometimes lament on the fact that his firstborn was a girl, yet Arturia was pleased with her current situation.

Because finally, she could afford to be human.

Well, actually not entirely, at least not in the conventional sense. Arturia still had her enormous magical core, and her entire family was magical. In fact, as her father had always boasted to his colleagues, the Malfoy was an esteemed pure-blooded family and one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight in the British Wizarding World. It seemed she would never escape the notion of royalty, no matter in which dimension she lived.

Not to mention 'Regina' literally means 'queen'. At least, this time she was free to act like a girl (not that she really know how at the moment), and not have Merlin behind her back who'd curse her with a transgender spell. She had had enough of his rubbish.

Anyway, it finally registered in her mind that she was going to have a younger brother. Because of this, Arturia wished to see her newborn brother as soon as possible. Lucky for her, her father brought her along to the hospital. Leaving little Regina alone with her mad aunt was undoubtedly a big no-no.

Of course, Dobby followed her. Lucius was confused at the house elf's apparent eagerness to serve his daughter, but he shrugged it off. Arturia knew her father loved her, but he simply didn't have the time to give her attention. Usually, Narcissa took care of little Regina, but pregnancy drained her energy much more quickly, so Dobby would have to do.

Her father still mistreated Dobby but at least, Dobby didn't have to punish himself whenever Lucius wasn't around. Arturia had to practically order Dobby to stop punishing himself, and she was thankful Dobby could understand what she meant despite her limited vocabulary.

("S-stahp! Stahp! Dowie _stahp_!"

Arturia thought Dobby was telepathic, because he did stop banging his head against the wall afterward. He still had to pretend to punish himself whenever Lucius was around and ordered him to, though.)

Anyway, Dobby was here to accompany her so that she didn't have to be lonely in the children's waiting room. He showed her magic tricks unlike what Merlin had ever shown her, so Dobby did a pretty good job entertaining her as she waited for the news of her brother. It was an unexpected, bizarre life, but Arturia was pretty content with her fate now. Well, it'd be better if Shirou was here, or at least any of her acquaintances and friends from her previous life...

Suddenly, Dobby froze. He canceled his magic, causing the dancing mini lion to poof out of existence. Arturia looked at her elf quizzically when Dobby moved to stand in front of his Young Mistress, facing the door.

"Wot's wong, Dowie?" Arturia asked in a whisper as she started to get agitated as well. Dobby's behaviour greatly resembled that of her knights in the past, when an enemy was nearby.

"Stay behind Dobby, milady," the house elf said cautiously. "Dobby sensed a...no, _two_ individuals with unusual magic heading to this room. They are dangerous."

Dobby flicked his hand and suddenly, they were both invisible. Arturia was astonished; this was just like her Invisible Air, but a lot more versatile.

"The Wizarding World is at war now, milady. Young Mistress is Master's only heir right now, so Young Mistress is a target. Dobby will protect Young Mistress!"

This was the first time Dobby admitted that a war was going on right now. Arturia tensed, preparing to face whatever is coming to her, even though she didn't know what to do as a mere baby. She wasn't even sure if she retained her strength as a Servant.

Finally, the door opened to reveal...a harried red-haired man holding two babies.

"Alright, here we are!" The man exclaimed. Hurriedly, he put the two babies on the mat, not noticing that they were not alone in the room. "Didn't expect the room to be empty, but you guys have each other so I'll leave you both here for a minute, alright? I'll be right back."

Then, the man left the room just like that, leaving the two babies in the room.

It didn't take long for Arturia to realise that they were twins, probably boys judging by their attire. They were around the same age as her, with thin red hair and wide, blue eyes. A pang filled her chest; the red hair reminded her so much of Shirou. If only they looked a bit more Asian with golden-brown eyes...

Arturia decided to remain invisible and observe them. They're the next two people she'd met after her mad aunt, and maybe...maybe, she could make friends! Like normal people! Not that she knew how to befriend babies, but…Why are they sniffing the air?

Arturia raised an invisible eyebrow as both babies began crawling around with nose up in the air. Eventually, they zeroed in on the general direction where she and Dobby were hiding. Arturia narrowed her eyes; that can't be normal—

"S-Saybah?" One of the twins blurted out.

Arturia blinked rapidly. She must've heard wrong.

The other twin snapped his head to his brother, face paling. He turned around to crawl to the other direction, before hiding behind a weirdly-shaped chair.

The first twin didn't care though; he simply called out again, "Saybah? Dat you?"

 _That can't be…_

"S-Ch-Chiyou?" Arturia whispered. Dobby, through some telepathic skill, understood her, so he removed the disillusionment charm.

The boy jumped in surprise when she and Dobby appeared out of thin air. He paused a bit upon seeing the house elf, before quickly landing his gaze on her.

An impromptu staring match ensued.

The baby boy was the first to move closer. Dobby took a step forward threateningly, causing the boy to halt in his tracks; but Arturia shushed him and took wobbly steps forward.

"S-Saybah?"

Arturia nodded.

"Chiyou?"

The boy nodded vigorously.

"Sayb—buh?!"

"Ye idjyot!" the reincarnated King yelled at her Sheath as she hit him awkwardly in the head. "Wai ye taek so long? Ah been waitin' in Abalon sins foreba!"

Shirou stared at her in incomprehension.

Dobby cleared his throat, before translating in monotone, "'You idiot. Why you took so long. I've been waiting in Abalone since forever."

Arturia wanted to correct Dobby, but she decided not to. There was a more important matter to address, mainly the boy in front of him.

Said boy knitted his brows in confusion. "Uh, wat?"

The nerve of this man… "Da pwomise."

"Pwomise? Wat pwomise?" Shirou asked innocently. "Yuu mean da hot pot? But Chastaa happen', so…" (But Caster happened, so…)

"Chastaa?" Now it was her turn to get confused. Hot pot? Caster? She was pretty sure they were unrelated to their promise. Well, maybe the hot pot in Avalon, but not Caster.

It was then Arturia realised that this was probably not her Shirou, but an alternate Shirou who'd undergone a different Fifth Holy Grail War. The reincarnated King deflated, losing hope all over again. At least, another Shirou was here so...He can't be all that different from her Shirou, right?

"Diff'n Saybah, huh…," Shirou muttered as he came to the same conclusion. Then, he paused, before slowly turning to face the weirdly-shaped chair where his twin was hiding.

"...Achaa?" Shirou called. He turned back to Arturia again with his finger pointing at the chair. "Achaa's here too, ya now."

Achaa? Archer? That red-clad, sarcastic Archer from the Fifth Holy Grail War? Arturia scrunched her face in discomfort. Well, it shouldn't be the King of Heroes right? Because that would be even more troublesome. Why was the red Archer here, anyway?

Shirou, noting her sour expression, frowned.

"...Doncha now dat he's also Chiyou Emiya?" ("Don't you know that he's also Shirou Emiya?")

Arturia needed a few seconds to digest his words.

"...Wat?"

"Acha," Shirou repeated. "He's Chiyou Emiya. Yuu don' now?"

"Acha...He...Chiyou...But...Wat?" asked Arturia intelligently.

While she was dealing with the information overload and the implications as to why and how is Archer ( _of all people_ ) Shirou Emiya, baby Shirou waddled towards the hidden Archer behind the chair. He began tugging at his... _twin's_ (?!) onesie to coax him out of the hiding corner, but Archer refused to budge.

Arturia, still in a daze, followed Shirou. She peeked over the chair and there he was, an exact replica of baby Shirou, sulking in a corner.

"Ac…," Arturia shook her head. Shirou moved back to give her room so that she could face the other twin directly. "...Chiyou?"

It was a few seconds of no response, before the boy slowly looked up to see Arturia in the eye.

"Ah, um…," he stuttered. Then, he lifted one hand to wave shyly. "H-hullo, Altolia"

Arturia slapped his face awkwardly.

* * *

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.

.

 **Meanwhile, with Dumbledore**

"...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…"

Dumbledore's eyes flicked between Sybill Trelawney, a professor candidate whom he was interviewing, and the door behind her. The old wizard could hear a commotion behind the door and his magical sense picked up a familiar trace. However, he didn't have the time to chase after the presumably-spy because Trelawney was not finished.

"...And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…," Trelawney continued droning, possessed by an unknown entity as a prophecy was told directly to him. It was promising; the prophecy might be a key to end this bloody war, and despite his initial skepticism against this potential professor, Dumbledore felt hope for the first time.

"And either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives—"

Suddenly, her harsh voice was interjected by another distinct voice, even though they all came out from Trelawney's mouth.

"Wait! I told you already that there's an updated version of this prophecy!" Trelawney's face contorted in panic, glowing eyes widening as her hands flailed as if to stop someone from...from doing something.

"H-huh?" Her expression once again abruptly shifted to bewilderment, turning her head around to see...nothing behind her. It was as if she was acting as two different people. "But, the Seer—"

"She might have a few more seconds, quick—"

Then, Trelawney collapsed like a puppet whose strings had been cut, falling unconscious right in front of a baffled Dumbledore.

 _...What in the name of Merlin had just happened?_

 _._

 _._

 _._

* * *

 **And there we go. Of course, the prophecy would have to change, but I decided not to say to what exactly. This way, I'll have more freedom on what plot should I write in the future. That, and I'm horrible at writing archaic English for prophecy.**

 **Anyway, August is coming and I'll be back to uni soon—so I probably won't have any further update till New Year's Eve. Sorry about that.**

 **Thank you for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hullo! Long time no see. Been busy with RL, as always. Sorry about that. If you really want to know how busy I am, you can just PM me. I'll be glad to rant.**

 **Other than that, thanks for the favs, follows and reviews! I'm truly sorry for not being able to reply to every single review, but I do read them all. They really made my day :D.**

 **Without further ado, enjoy!**

* * *

 **Disclaimer:** **I do not own FSN nor HP.**

 **Warnings:** **Mention of a certain three-** _ **ahem**_ **, (purposely) confusing names, some misunderstandings, Shirou's artistic skill.**

 **And, goodness, Harry Potter and their unresolved mysteries.**

* * *

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Arturia stared at the redhead baby in front of her, brows furrowing.

Shirou, or rather _Archer_ , fidgeted nervously, sweating bullets as he refused to look at her in the eye.

"Saybah?" A baby voice snapped her out of her trance. Shi—err, Shirou no. 2? Alternate-Shirou?—looked back and forth between the two, not really understanding what was going on.

Arturia cleared her throat. Or tried to, as a "Hem hem" came out of her mouth instead.

"How…," she trailed off, not sure how to phrase her question. She opted to gesture at the Emiyas' overall babified state, instead.

Alternate Shirou shrugged. "Lin skewed up. She's 'ere too."

Lin? As in Rin, Master of Archer? Arturia couldn't remember much, but she did remember bits and pieces, like their three—

Err.

Arturia slapped herself silly and put that memory at the far back of her mind. _Not now_ , she reasoned to herself, _when we're older_. Because those impure thoughts were certainly inappropriate for a baby like her current self.

(Let it not be said that her memory was much better than Archer's. She didn't have to deal with existential crisis (er, much) in Avalon, nor did she have to kill people all the time for the sake of humanity. She had plenty of time and mood to relive better memories than Archer did.)

"Uh, you 'kay?"

"Yea!" Arturia shrieked in reply, prompting Alternate Shirou to stumble back and fall on his butt. "Yea, 'm fine. Tot'lly fine."

She composed herself and adopted the cool mask she'd mastered since she was a king. Arturia pretended that her face didn't feel hot.

Alternate Shirou looked at her weirdly, while, uh, Archer-Shirou stole a glance at her.

Speaking of which, the Alternate-Shirous thing was getting confusing, especially when they looked identical to each other. Calling Shirou _Archer_ also felt weird.

"Name?" Arturia asked both twins.

They stared at her in confusion, before Archer-Shirou caught on first.

"Joceph," he said.

Alternate-Shirou blinked, before whacking his twin's head.

"I'm Joceph," Alternate-Shirou said. "He's Daniel."

Archer-Shirou pushed his twin in retaliation.

"Don lis'n to him, Altolia. He's Daniel -"

"I'm olde', you acchole -"

Their squabble soon escalated to wrestling. This was truly unbecoming for warriors such as them to fight like...children…

Nevermind.

Still, that didn't excuse their behaviour. They were also warriors once. So when a short sword appeared in Archer-Shirou's hand, Arturia snatched it to smack both of their heads with the flat of the blade.

The sword _bent_ and bounced off their heads harmlessly.

Arturia gaped at the sword. Never in her long life did she encounter a sword literally this flexible.

It still did its job, nevertheless. The twins' attention was now at her.

Arturia stared down them both. The twins slowly sat in seiza with their heads down, chastised.

"Light," she huffed. Now because of their scuffle, she didn't know which twin was who. "Chiyou- no, Achaa-Chiyou."

The twin on the left perked up. "Yea?"

Since he'd said it first… "You be Joceph."

Archer-Shirou beamed. Alternate-Shirou made a noise of protest, but it quickly died down when she leveled a cool stare at him.

"You be Daniel," she said to the twin on the right.

"...'kay…"

Satisfied, she pointed a thumb to herself, "Legina. Legina Malpoy."

The twins blinked, frowning at her name for some reason, before nodding.

"Now…," Arturia turned to the one named Joseph. "E'plain."

Realising that he was still in trouble, Joseph started fidgeting again and avoiding eye contact. He was saved when Dobby tapped her shoulder.

"Milady," he whispered to her ears. "Master Lucius is coming."

Arturia blinked, looked down at the sword in her hand and the two boys sitting submissively in front of her, before spluttering.

"S-stanaph!"

"Huh?" the twins said dumbly. Their nose twitched, eyes widening before scrambling to stand.

They only managed to dissipate the toy sword and kneel from their seiza position when the door opened to reveal her father.

"Regina—" Lucius froze at the view in front of him. He stared at the kneeling twin boys and his standing daughter before smiling proudly. "You've gained your first followers? As expected from my daughter."

Arturia gaped at her father, but before she could deny his misunderstanding, the door opened again.

"My boys—," the red-haired man from earlier bumped into her father. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realise— _Malfoy_!"

Her father whirled around _,_ hand twitching to reach his wand. _"Weasley_ ," he hissed.

The two men began circling slowly around each other.

"What are you doing here," the red-head, Weasley, demanded to her father. He stood in front of the two baby twins protectively.

Lucius eyed the other man in distaste as he stood in front of his own daughter. "Well, my presence here is none of your business. Are those your children?"

"They're my sons," Weasley admitted hesitantly as if revealing that would guarantee deaths to his sons. "What of it?"

Lucius' expression soured. "Out of all purebloods, the blood traitors…"

Arturia could almost see Weasley's hackles rising. "Says you, Death Eater…"

Both men glared at each other. The presence of babies was the only thing that prevented a bloodbath occurring then and there.

However, her father held an advantage because Dobby was there. Arturia realised this when his father signed for the house-elf to take her to safety.

"Nuu!" Arturia scrambled towards the Weasleys, shocking the two adults. One of the twins, Joseph, met her on the way (despite trying to avoid her moments ago) because they refused to be separated. Not yet, not again.

"Regina! What are you doing—!"

"Daniel, come back—!"

Both fathers made a grab at their respective children, but the baby grips were surprisingly tight.

Meanwhile, Shirou and Dobby watched the ensuing chaos from the sidelines, completely forgotten. Arturia and Archer were hugging each other tightly like koalas. Lucius and Arthur were shouting at each other, pulling on their daughter/son as if they were competing in a tug of war.

"Stop laying your filthy hands on my daughter, you bastard!"

"Why don't _you_ let go of my son, you git!"

 _'What is this, Romeo and Juliet?'_ Shirou couldn't help but think.

* * *

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 **July, 1980**

Arturia stared at the gruesome face of her father's boss cooly.

"Hmm," Lord Voldemort stroke his chin in contemplation, noting the lack of fear in the baby's eyes. "You have quite a daughter here, Lucius."

Lucius nodded silently in return. Arturia noticed the slight tremble in her father's grip on her.

"What's her name?"

"It's Regina Malfoy, my lord."

"Ah, destined to be a leader, I see…," the snake-like wizard purred. Honestly, the face of Caster of the Fourth Holy Grail War was much more disturbing than this, but Arturia could see why allies and enemies alike were wary of the Dark Lord. What had happened to him to have violated his face like this? "Teach her well, then. She'll be a good addition to our ranks, just like our dear Bellatrix."

Arturia fought not to scrunch up her nose in disgust.

It hadn't taken her long to realise that her family had sided with the supremacists. She wanted to believe that the organisation wasn't the 'bad guys', to put it simply, but 'Death Eaters' wasn't exactly as noble-sounding as 'Knights of the Round Table'. The members never hid the fact that they hated 'muggles', people who had no magic and were not born from any magical family. Hell, many of them relished torturing muggles and were proud of their high kill counts.

Arturia had participated in wars from medieval Britain and saw the peace achieved in 20th-century Japan. Yet, she'd never seen a society more divided than this. The Death Eaters were a motley collection, nobles mingling with thugs, and they gravitated toward the leader who could show them more refined forms of cruelty. They were the opposite of the 'Light', the so-called blood traitors, mudbloods and muggle lovers, which included the Weasleys. Arturia lamented the fact that she was stuck here, in the 'Dark' side, away from Shirou.

Because no matter how sure Lord Voldemort was about where her future loyalty would lie, Arturia could never imagine herself sitting amongst these people.

* * *

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"Then don't, milady," Dobby said simply.

Arturia blinked in surprise. "Weally?"

"Dobby is sure," her house-elf nodded sagely. "Dobby knows the choice lies on Young Mistress Regina. Never the Dark Lord. Young Mistress' fate is in your own hands, milady."

Arturia was lucky to have such a wise and loyal friend.

"Then," she leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially to the house-elf. "Wat can you do, Dobby?"

Dobby gave her a wicked smile.

* * *

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.

 **August, 1980**

"Lily Potter née Evans has just given birth, my Lord," Severus Snape reported in the early morning, in the meeting of the Death Eaters at Malfoy Manor. "A boy, born last night, minutes before midnight."

"A half-blood," Lord Voldemort hissed. "' _Born as the seventh month dies…_ '"

Severus shivered, face paling rapidly at the implication. "My Lord, the Longbottom heir was born the day before. He's also a possible candidate."

The Dark Lord narrowed his eyes at him. Severus gulped, terrified out of his wits, but remained in position. Lily was his friend and he loved her despite already betraying her, so he was obligated to keep her safe. Or, at the very least, stall her impending doom.

"A half-blood and a blood traitor," the Dark Lord tapped his chin idly as if he was contemplating on what to have for lunch, not plotting an infanticide. "Both the Potters and the Longbottoms have defied me a couple of times. The Fidelius Charms makes it tricky to find their whereabouts, however…"

He turned to Peter Pettigrew, who squeaked in fright when the attention turned to him.

"Pettigrew," Lord Voldemort smiled sweetly. "You're new, yes?"

"Y-y-yes, my Lord!"

Severus' blood ran cold when he realised what the Dark Lord wanted from the traitorous spy.

Nobody in the room noticed a house-elf hiding under a strong Disillusionment charm.

* * *

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Nobody in the Burrow also noticed said house-elf appearing in front of the younger twin pair an hour later, conveniently when they were alone in their room.

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* * *

"...Whadja' doing?" Rin asked curiously.

The Emiya twins glanced at her briefly before going back to their work: drawing on the floor with their crayons.

"Savin' you," Shirou said resolutely. "And lil' Haely."

Rin frowned in confusion. Her and Harry? From what?

Archer tapped the floor, done with his drawing. Or that was what Rin initially thought it was because, after squinting, she realised it was a set of messily-written katakana.

'ヴォルデモート'

It took Rin a second to realise what it meant.

' _Voldemort.'_

"Pug," Rin cursed. "How didja 'now?"

Archer opened his mouth to reply, but someone else beat him to it.

"Woah, that's some fancy art," Charlie Weasley chimed in from behind Rin, making the reincarnated magus jumped in surprise. "Look, Bill! Our baby brothers are going to be amazing painters, someday!"

Bill, the oldest Weasley son, was a bit more skeptical. "For some reason, those look like words to me..."

Rin quickly picked up a crayon and drew a very deformed stickman from the last katakana. Shirou and Archer scrambled to follow her lead.

"...Nevermind," Bill blinked in bewilderment at the babies' eagerness to doodle many unnamed creatures on the Longbottom Manor's floor. Mum could clean the floor with Scourgify just fine (those weird quill called crayons were non-magical, thus easy to clean), so the older Weasley boys left the kids to happily make a mess on it.

The reincarnated babies sighed in relief when they left to play Exploding Snap, before continuing their business.

(Shirou was tasked to doodle on their secret messages because Rin took too long to draw unnecessarily realistic drawings, and Archer refused to draw flowers and bunny ears on Japanese characters.)

' _Artoria_ ,' Archer wrote. He continued on when Rin nodded in understanding. ' _Born_ _Malfoy_. _Death Eaters_.'

Rin frowned. Arturia being reborn into this world was surprising, as was her being born to the Malfoy family—allegedly one of the Dark Lord's most loyal families. But that didn't explain why the Potter children were specifically being targeted.

' _Why me? Harry?'_ She wrote _._

The twins shrugged. ' _Longbottom too_ ,' Archer wrote as Shirou nodded at little Neville, who was being fussed over by one of the house-elves. Archer tapped the word ' _Voldemort'_ before writing, ' _want to kill_ , s _omething about the end of July_.'

Must be the date of birth, as Harry was born on the 31st of July and now was already August. Still didn't explain why, though.

Archer waved, dismissing her question as unimportant. He continued writing, unconsciously sticking his tongue out when concentrating on writing unfamiliar words in katakana.

' _Fidelius Charm. Peter Pettigrew. Secret Keeper.'_

' _Betray_.'

Rin narrowed her eyes. Peter Pettigrew—one of her dad's best friends, the one who could transform into a rat. She had no idea what _Fidelius Charm_ or _Secret Keeper_ are, but Archer's message bothered her. If the intel was right, her family was in great danger.

They had to do something. _She_ had to do something.

Throughout their secret conversation, Shirou furiously drew every single animal he could think of that he could combine with the hiraganas and katakanas the other two had written. Quality be damned; they're babies.

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* * *

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **There are several things to take note of:**

 **1) I'm not sure whether the Burrows was already protected under Fidelius Charm in the First Wizarding War since that particular spell was supposed to be super rare. I'll just assume that it was protected with a strong Anti-Apparition Charm or something, which could be bypassed by House-Elf's magic.**

 **2) Making sense of Harry Potter lore is truly a pain in the ass.**

 **3) I did consider using owls to deliver the message to the Emiya twins, but they might make too much noise, and both Shirou and Archer are not familiar with owls yet. I might be wrong though. Thinking hurts.**

 **4) Finally, a plot! This is one of the reasons why I'm still stuck with the babies part. I have a rough idea of what to do with Voldemort trying to kill baby Harry plot thingy, but suggestions are always welcome.**

 **5) The who-is-joseph-who-is-daniel will be resolved once they got their Hogwarts letters.**

 **6) Timeline is a mess. There is a one year gap between Voldemort hearing about half the prophecy from Snape and him visiting the Potters to murder baby Harry.**

 **7) Have I said that making sense of Harry Potter lore is a pain in the ass?**

 **Also, I'll be off to the Philippines to do a community project for the rest of December. If I have time, I may be able to continue writing, but I can't promise anything. Sorry about that.**

 **See you next time!**


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